Get Moving into Summer

"The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving."

Oliver Wendell Holmes

It is another cool, rainy day. Spring never quite arrived, so I have my hopes of warmth and sunshine set on summer. Summer brings with it a certain lightness of being. I can pack away the fleece and bring out the cotton, I can count on local garden-fresh fruit and vegetables to invigorate my meals, I can lounge in the warmth of a lazy summer day, I can pick up the pace of my summer walks or runs as the early morning sun rises, I can enjoy the parade of blooms as we move through summer, I can delight in the basil growing in a pot on my patio as I add it to almost everything I eat, I can savor my morning cup of coffee or tea on my front porch as the sun peaks its way above the trees, I can stop and listen to the songs of summer as the birds drift in and out of the area, I can kick off my shoes and let my feet wander. Oh summer⎯I welcome your returning grace.

How might you enjoy summer?

• Catch some sand between your toes
• Head out for a swim or a float
• Camp in the woods
• Scrape off the BBQ
• Grab your boat
• Dance at a festival or outdoor concert
• Devour a humongous ice-cream cone
• Go outside and get moving

Summer may scream more work in the yard, but that is a good thing. We need to move and stretch our bodies and do the things outside one does when summer rolls around. No matter what type of summer we have, I will take advantage of a bounce in the temp even if the rain continues to fall. I am going to keep moving and use the momentum I am gaining to enjoy all the spoils of the season. It’s summer after all, and once it is gone⎯we will have to wait another year. Don’t let this one slip by.

As I begin moving into summer I will be taking a break from my weekly postings. I may send you a thought or two along the way to keep you moving; otherwise, I will plan on catching you up in the fall.

Here's to an amazing summer of moving in the right direction. How do you plan on moving this summer?

Photo courtesy of Guiri R. Reyes
© Copyright 2011 Michelle Clark

The Flash of Anger

I am not an angry person. As a matter of fact, I am probably the exact opposite. I don’t like the way it feels when I become angry or the way it makes me feel when I am around anger in any way, shape or form. Even the most composed person can be pushed to the limits in a flash when anger invades our space. We may even be surprised by the fact it happens so quickly, and we may even feel momentarily out of control. Momentarily or not, this is not a good place to be.

The last few years I have been working on observing my actions and reactions to the everyday ups and downs of my life. This has brought me face to face with anger⎯how I react to it and how I deal with it. My observations helped me realize there are alternate routes to dealing with my feelings. I don’t need to feed the anger but dissect it in a way that helps me determine if my anger is going to be productive. I am learning to just stop, take a moment, and in that moment, LET IT GO! My observations have shown me a few things about anger:

• Anger clouds my thinking⎯I don’t necessarily say what I mean or mean what I say.
• Anger produces caustic emotions⎯These negative feelings build quickly and grow more volatile leading to additional emotional pain and provoke even more anger!
• Anger hurts me and whoever else is in my line of fire⎯It physically invades every cell in my body creating a pain that my body responds to. It unleashes the fight or flight behavior. My muscles tense, my heart starts to pound and the heat begins to flush throughout my body. Have you ever noticed how long it takes to calm yourself down once that starts? Even if you have mentally stopped anger, it continues to course through your body for a time as stress.
• Anger is not productive⎯It complicates things and generally takes me down roads I didn’t even consider taking, and creates quite a mess in the process.
• Anger scares me⎯Who is this person anyway?
• Anger is ugly⎯Have you ever seen your angry self or perhaps the aftermath?
• Anger is not healthy!
• Anger does nothing but motivate me to change my behavior.

Learned habits can trigger an anger response in a flash, but you can do something about it.

• Start paying more attention to what you say, think and feel.
• Take a breath, take a moment but learn to pause before you react.
• In that flash of emotions ask yourself, “Is it worth it?”
• Let it go!

When I let it go, I feel my muscles begin to relax as my heart rate slows and the pulsing heat fades away. My observations have helped me to stop the anger before I feel the physical change, and guide me to walk away from whatever it is I am feeling in that moment, because I know⎯it’s just not worth it. Walking away from anger helps me to be my best self. How about you⎯can you learn to walk away from anger with me? Take a big breath, now doesn’t that feel better?

Photo courtesy of Leland Francisco
© Copyright 2011 Michelle Clark

Growing Pains⎯Tending the Garden

Every step in the right direction has growing pains⎯but you need to do it anyway!

My friend June was recently telling me how difficult it was for her to move forward in the new life she had created for herself. June finds she is falling into the same pitfalls of living she was trying to leave behind. On the other hand, June also finds herself frozen at times and is not sure how else to move forward. She knows what she should do, she just doesn’t know HOW. It then becomes easy for her to fall back to what she knows⎯it’s safe.

• Safe makes you feel secure
• Safe feels harmless
• Safe gives you shelter
• Safe keeps you insulated
• Safe is a place many of us want to live because it requires little effort on our part
• Safe is a place many of us cannot move away from because we are stuck!

I told June what she was feeling was normal. She has taken the steps in the right direction but she is now feeling the growing pains⎯you know, the stresses and strains of development. Just what are growing pains in this circumstance?

• Evolution⎯gradual development of wisdom
• Maturation⎯the process of growth
• Expansion⎯ to a new and better self
• Progress⎯forward movement, momentum
• Improvement⎯making life better

Growth takes time⎯like when you plant seeds in a garden. You don’t plant seeds without taking care of them properly, otherwise they will not grow. One must tend the garden.  Water the seeds and once  they have started to grow, focus on the roots by continuing to water and gently feed them. This will allow the roots to develop into a healthy base in order to support the life of the plant. It doesn’t stop there. You must continue to nurture the plant in order to sustain continued growth.

We all feel growing pains from time to time whether initiated by ourselves or the circumstances of our lives. Yes there may be setbacks, but you weed out what is not working and plant seeds anyway. YOU KNOW HOW⎯one small step at a time. I am proud of anyone, like June, who chooses to make a move in the right direction, for continued growth provides more healthy roots and buds of pure joy, which will eventually open into blooms of love and happiness.

Step outside yourself and grow, grow, grow! You can do it, I know you can.

Photo courtesy of AmandaLouise
© Copyright 2011 Michelle Clark

Summer Camp 1965

In a few weeks, schools will be closing for summer break and many children will be heading off to summer camp. This thought brought back memories of the summer of 1965 - the war in Vietnam worsened while the anti-war movement grew, kids were crazy about skateboards, women’s skirts got shorter while men’s hair grew longer, gasoline per gallon was 0.31, the average income per year was $6,450, Cosmonaut Aleksei Leonov took the first steps into space and I stepped onto a bus with my friend Lynn for my first visit to summer camp.

I had just turned 9 and while I was looking forward to a week at Camp River Ranch, I was also sad because I would miss a family wedding. Lynn and I were shy but were determined to make the best of it as we headed out for our first week away from home. We were assigned to the same canvas tent along with four other girls. On our first visit to the lake we were divided into groups by swimming ability. There were three of us who knew nothing about swimming. Lynn and I fell into that very small group. Instead of receiving lessons or guidance, we were asked to sit on the rocky beach during lessons and during free swim we were allowed to stand up to our knees and splash each other⎯fun times! After “swimming” each day, we would hang our wet swimsuits on the supporting ropes outside the tent to dry. Upon our return, Lynn and I always found our swimsuits in the mud below the ropes. We were continuously teased and tormented by those who thought they were better than anyone else. I became homesick but tried to make the best of it.

At the end of camp, the first thing out of my mouth when seeing my parents’ was, “I want to learn to swim.” I began taking lessons and didn’t stop. Along the way I joined a swim team, became a lifeguard and a water safety instructor⎯all by the time I was 16. Two years after my stay at Camp River Ranch I attended Camp Don Boscoe, which had a complex of outdoor swimming pools. Once again, I was not given swim lessons. This time I could outswim everyone including the instructors, so I helped out around the pool. The fact I could swim did not graduate me to the realm of most popular. It had quite the opposite affect, but I didn’t care.

While I missed being at my uncle and aunt’s wedding, I gained so much more⎯the human experience. I began to learn my own way in this world. I learned what it was like to be an outcast. I learned the meaning of focus and drive and setting goals. Two summers and endless hours in the pool later, I learned what it was like to achieve one's goal, and that it was okay to stand outside the crowd⎯for ME to be ME. It was my first major personal triumph.

I could have just gone on about my shy way in this world and may not have even learned to swim. I might be a very different person today if it wasn’t for the experience I gained in 1965. We may not always know the impact we make on our lives with the choices we make along the way, but one thing I know⎯you will not be happy unless you are BE-ing who you are. Take a look at your life today, are you making the right choices? If not, today can be a new day for you, set your goal, focus and drive even if you are driving outside the crowd. Take the first step⎯you may just make a splash!

Photo courtesy of AlexanderY
© Copyright 2011 Michelle Clark

Technology the New Grindstone

Are you one of those goal oriented types that forgets to look up from the grindstone once in awhile to stop and smell the roses? Perhaps it is time to not only look up but also unplug the freaking thing.  Remember this⎯there are no replays here, and life will march on as they say, with or without you.

Welcome to the 21st century where the new grindstone is technology. Since my brain is now connected more than ever, thanks to my smartphone, I am finding being connected at all times to be a brain sucking habit that takes over until you find yourself addicted to constantly plugging into something. This constant plugging in zaps my ability to think clearly.  For all the wonderful things being plugged in provides, it seems to take more time away from what is truly important.

Being one of those highly organized, goal oriented types, a smartphone seemed like a perfect fit for me. BUT like setting goals⎯goal is set, work like a dog to attain the goal, then what? Sometimes, many times, attaining “that” goal is not what I expected, and can be downright disappointing! Being connected all the time is not what I expected and is disappointing because it is such a time drain. It seems to speed up an already faster pace of life. ENOUGH ALREADY! This is not a place where happiness resides. Nose to the grindstone leaves us feeling empty and searching for something more, and that something more is⎯LIFE! This is true whether plugged in or not, but unless I unplug regularly I start to lose my sense of self, my place in the hierarchy of constant connection to everything but ME.

So today⎯unplug yourself. Begin by taking 3 deep breaths and  unplug for 5 minutes, then tomorrow unplug again and again until you can give yourself a day or a week of unplugged bliss. The idea here is to get into the habit of unplugging regularly. What does unplugging mean?

• No projects
• No deadline
• No shopping
• No cell phone
• No texting
• No emails
• No radio
• No television
• No lists
• No nonsense
• No whatever it is you are normally plugged into!

Stop planning, stop worrying, stop thinking and DO something you would not normally DO:

• Go for a walk in a garden, nearby park or arboretum, perhaps even your own neighborhood!
• Go to the mountains
• Go to the beach
• Sit on your patio
• Stare off into space
• Breathe
• Listen to the sounds around you
• Find one simple, beautiful thing to focus on even for a few glorious seconds

Unplugging⎯here is where you just might find the answers to the emptiness, the something more, the something that is truly important and missing in your life! Stop and smell those roses and you may just find a new pace of life called happiness.

How do you unplug?


Photo courtesy of Juliana Coutinho
© Copyright 2011 Michelle Clark