Creating Mindfulness Space

I’ve written about creating space many times over the years. As we explore mindfulness this year, it begs to be mentioned again. Why, you ask? Ah, nice to know you are asking why. It’s because mindfulness happens when there’s a space for it.

Basically, our brains are on overdrive - think of it as non-stop madness. So, it’s up to us to find mindfulness through observation/awareness/acceptance and create it for ourselves. It is in this created space that gaps open and allow a place for our minds to rest. You may have taken notice of this gap space during some of the breathing exercises this year. And I’m sure you’ve also noted I’ve talked about that’s when the magic happens - well, that magic happens for each of us in clever and mysterious ways. It’s that sense of voice in our heads guiding us to safety, it’s when answers to questions asked float through, it’s where one can find a sense of peace, quiet, and enlightenment. With practice, gaps open more often and allow you to be in this space for longer periods of time. Think of this phenomenon like this - you, the center of peace amidst turbulent times. I understand this space and you can too. Here’s a few simple ways of thinking and being to get the ball rolling on creating mindfulness space:

• I recently asked you to consider why you like and dislike something. The example was an outfit you see someone else wearing. Now we’re going to get more personal. Let’s look through your closet. Why do you like some clothes and not others? Then why do you have so many clothes in your closet you don’t like or wear anymore? I know, that’s a loaded question! Trust me on this, it’s simple sounding ways of living that will turn the tide for you on mindfulness. Less is more, less is more - your new mantra perhaps? If it helps, decide you are going to do this clothing exercise every few months. So, mark it on the calendar until you feel you have become one with your closet!!! Pull out a few items, try them on, load the ones you are getting rid of in your car then picture yourself feeling happy after you have donated these items to someone who could really use what you no longer wear. Spread the love and create space at the same time! With every attempt at cleansing your closet, you will feel lighter and on your way to making better decisions all the way around.
• It’s difficult to find space in your mind when you are surrounded by chaos. Take your less is more mantra to your home, office, vehicle one drawer, one room, one area at a time and get rid of the clutter. Don’t fill every space with furniture or every wall with something hanging on it. Allow places in your home for your mind to rest. When you have created space, feel the space when you open the organized drawer or your eye catches a cleared place, and feel good about the direction you are moving. There you go. Mindfulness begets good feelings. Magic!

Continue with earlier exercises from this year - breathing, touching base with your senses, asking why; and now, allow space, space, and more space to fill your life. These mindfulness exercises will come together at one time or another. And don’t be surprised if you find your own exercises for creating mindfulness. Pardon me as I mention this once again - that’s when the magic happens. Stop the madness and be the center of peace amidst turbulent times.

Take care,

Michelle

 

Photo © Melinda Nagy | Dreamstime.com

More or Less

Over the years as my husband, Dennis, and I have traveled, we have learned that less is more and have possibly taken it to more of an extreme than most would - as in, we have sold our house and sold or given away most of our stuff. Traveling full-time now, we travel with less than we used to - interesting since we are living out of our suitcases! We both have carry-on size backpacks, I have a carry-on size roller, and D has a slightly larger roller to check. I have a lunch size insulted bag with my medication and icepacks for keeping medication in proper range, and D has a small bag for our tech incidentals. We consider everything and I mean everything we carry. One thing may not seem like it matters, but if we kept too many one-more-things they would add up and then we would be lugging the one-more-things up and down hills and stairs, on to and off of trains, through narrow alleyways, and across busy intersections. It doesn’t take long to determine we must carry less, thus gaining more freedom to roll our stuff around from place to place.

Having been in Europe for nearly 3-months at this writing, we have determined we could have taken less and still have had what we needed. Making better choices and examining everything about our lives is ever-changing on a day-to-day basis. We are learning what is less and what is more as we continue to travel - and it's not all about how much we have packed into our suitcases, but that would be a post for another time. It’s learning to balance our needs versus our wants; and we are realizing how much more important our needs are. This whole adventure is a process, and balancing the more with the less will be an ongoing challenge. A challenge we think we are up for.

Michelle

Photo courtesy of DaMClarks

The Next Phase

Over the last few years my husband, Dennis, and I have been slowly moving towards making a major change in our lives. Having been homebodies at the piece of paradise we reside at currently, we are now traveling more and would like to take more time to do even more traveling. Last year you followed my posts on downsizing, this year we are making the move. After twenty-two years in our current home, we will be selling it and moving on to the next phase of our lives. But here’s the catch, we are not buying a house or condominium to move into, and we are not buying a motorhome! As a matter of fact, we are only keeping what fits in a few travel bags and a 10 by 15-foot storage unit. In other words, in the next phase of our lives we will be home-less, so to speak!

Are we excited? Most definitely. Scared? Absolutely not. Worried about the future? What’s to worry about? In case you are worried for us, don’t be. We’ll take our time and cross each bridge as it comes. We look forward to not having to catch-up on our home and yard after every trip. We look forward to having less, much less, to maintain and concern ourselves with. We look forward to seeing more of the world. And most of all, we look forward to just being.

With everything we have been doing to prepare for selling, it has been difficult to post regularly. But I will do my best to keep you up-to-date on our activities as we strive to move towards the next phase. Once we sell and move out, you’ll be able to follow us as we travel. It is what it is happens to be a guiding principle for both of us and we will need to fall back on this guiding principle as we hit the unpredictable road of travel. And for those who are not quite sure about the direction we are taking, we may have been homebodies in the past, but our recent travels have guided us to the realization that home is wherever we are.

Land and suitcases photo courtesy of Jenifer Corrêa

The No-Gift Giving

I recently received a text from my friend Ann. She had been out and about and saw an ornament that reminded her of me. She wanted to buy it but her husband reminded her that I am in the process of getting rid of things. Ann carried it around the store with her for awhile then decided to take a picture of the ornament and send it to me instead of buying it. I told her the photo was perfect. It’s a gift just knowing Ann saw something that reminded her of me, and in that moment wanted to share it with me, but because she cares she didn’t buy it. Thank you Ann! I can keep the picture and know it was something she intended to buy for me, and it won’t take up any space.

I was thinking what a great way to give someone a gift, the no-gift giving when not a gift is a gift. With so many cell phone cameras around these days perhaps we should all get on the no-gift giving band wagon. It would be another way of sharing our love without accumulating stuff.

Ornament photo courtesy of Clark family archives.

Back Off

In the last few months I have been getting ready for a yard sale, and the preparation for this event gained momentum in the last two weeks. Priorities being what they were, I needed to focus on the job at hand - yard sale. Which meant I was not able to do the things I normally do and that included writing. Allowing myself time to write and post on my blog is important to me, and I miss it if I’m not able to. But, in order to simplify and not find myself running hither, thither, and yon, trying to do it all, I focus and back off from everything else - even the things I enjoy. This focus on simplicity and priorities helps me sort out the complicated, helps me get things done, and helps keep my sanity - seems like a win-win situation.

Backing off may sound counterproductive to moving forward, but it’s not really. In the end analysis, backing off guides me to re-evaluate that which I do. It helps me see what I do in perspective. It helps me prioritize what I normally do on a daily basis and appreciate the doing.

The yard sale is behind me and I can focus on getting caught up on the things I backed off of. I know there will be new priorities in my near future, and once again I will need to back off of my normal responsibilities. Until then, I will be glad to resume whatever normal is for me.

Connection photo courtesy of Viewminder

A Pony Tale

When my niece was in high school, over ten years ago, she donated her long ponytail to the Locks of Love non-profit organization. Locks of Love take the donated ponytails and create wigs for financially disadvantaged children who have lost their hair. Being someone who wore ponytails and braids as a child, once I heard about Locks of Love, I wished I could have donated mine when I had my last pony cut forty years ago.

I was going through boxes recently, as I move forward in the quest to downsize my life, and guess what I found? Lo and behold, a plastic bag with two, count ‘em two, ponytails. Since I am getting rid of things left and right these days, these two ponytails do not need to continue to follow me into my future. I really did not want to throw them away, though. Searching the Internet I found Locks of Love is still going strong. I looked at the criteria for hair donation, and it was noted that hair cut years ago was acceptable. Yay! And, all ponytails or braids must be at least ten inches long. I measured mine and I had one at eleven and a half inches and one at fifteen inches. Yay, again!

 If you know me, or have seen my picture on this website, you will know I have very short hair. Most of the time it is two inches or shorter. I know I will never grow my hair long again, but I have an opportunity I thought would never come my way. While these two ponytails will not follow me into my future, they will be the future for a child in need.

Downsizing has pointed me in many interesting directions as I seek to donate, sell, shred, and garbage, the belongings of my life. Locks of Love is just one of the many options I have found. By getting the moving process started, even before we know where we are moving, I have the opportunity to take the time to go through everything. Taking this time has allowed me to find appropriate homes for many items. If I hadn't been taking this time, I more than likely would have tossed many items, including ponytails, while in a rush to pack. I would have missed out on a chance to improve the life of someone else in a very special way.

Ponytail photo courtesy of Corey Holmes

Box Worthy

Yesterday, we removed all of the boxes labeled Christmas from our attic. Because I no longer decorate as much as I used to, I haven’t seen most of these boxes in years. While I still trim a tree and toss a bit of tinsel around, the decorating I do is simple, gives a holiday feel to our home, and does not take massive time to set up or take down. In an attempt to follow through with shedding and eliminating, we are beginning with the attic. What a perfect time to go through these boxes with the Christmas season just around the corner.

I am looking forward to the memories I will uncover; nevertheless, I will determine whether each memory is box worthy for future holidays. It may sound like an impossible task, but I am at a point in my life where I know it's time to give some of my decorations to others to enjoy. Many of us have a holiday décor nightmare hiding somewhere in our home. Follow my lead and make this holiday season the year of box worthiness.

Ballagio Christmas photo courtesy of Scott Ellis

One Less Thing

For the last ten years I have focused on keeping my life as simple as I possibly can. While I am not a hermit living in a cave, I do pretty well rolling through my life from day to day by adhering to this principle. When I hear myself thinking, “This is getting way too complicated.” That’s when I know I must back off or stop whatever it is I am thinking or doing and reevaluate.

With simplicity in mind, I love being able to say or think, “One less thing!” It’s one less thing to consider, worry about, clean or maintain; it’s one less gotta-do! But here’s the rub, before you can determine whether you are one less thing worthy, you have to consider all possible scenarios. What do I mean? Are you just using the one less thing mantra on something you haven’t thought through? If so, it will come back to haunt you, and more times then not, with more things to do or consider than you had to do or consider in the first place.

Shocking! I know. You can’t just make rash decisions in order to check another “thing” off your list when you may be creating more work for yourself. We all like the less is more feeling, and may get sucked into the moment without considering the elements of one less thing. What’s a person to do?

• Think it through!
• Consider possible outcomes.
• Are there consequences and are you willing to deal with them?
• If you do this, how will you feel?

Before you know it, you will be one less thinging left and right. You will feel good about your less is more decisions, you will feel the weight of whatever it is lift and feel a sense of satisfaction as you move forward. Please note: if you one less thing yourself into a cave, and that works for you, make sure it's well stocked.

Cave photo courtesy of John Carl Johnson and Creative Commons

Holiday Attitude Shake-Up

I am already hearing people bemoan the fact Christmas is upon us. My friend, Anita, said she would just like to fast-forward and get it over with! Sound familiar? I understand those sentiments, but no longer feel so utterly negative about the whole thing. I am now able to focus on the concept of “less is more” and not get caught up in the stress of the season. I have found I am able to enjoy what I do and appreciate those people I spend time with even more so. Over the years, I have shared with others how I approach the holidays, and now I’ll share a few insights and ideas with you.

First ⎯It all boils down to expectations. Who do we have to blame for those outrageous expectations? Could you be thinking of Norman Rockwell’s, Freedom from Want picture (Thanksgiving Dinner), published in the Saturday Evening Post in 1943? Or perhaps you have been looking at all the magazines with the lovely holiday settings. Just stop that right now! If anyone is going to take the blame it should be YOU. You can’t do anything about anyone else’s expectations, but you can about your own.

Second⎯Before you become holi-dazed, sit down and make a list of everything you think you need to do throughout the holiday season by category, then fill in the details under each category. Before you start getting a headache, move on quickly...

Third⎯Cross at least one detail off the list under each category, and yes you can! Heck, go ahead and cross off a whole category if you are feeling really empowered. I know you want to, so I’m going to give you permission to cross off an entire category. There, you have no one to blame but me⎯you’ll thank me for it! Remember, the idea is doing less of everything. Here are a few general thoughts to set you on your way:

Holiday Cards⎯If you are sending cards to everyone you ever knew or had a conversation with, listen up. Try sending cards to only those people you rarely see. If you still want to touch base with others, send an e-card. Or send only e-cards and sometime in the next month or so call those people you rarely see⎯they would love it! Lastly, you are not obligated to send holiday cards just because you receive them!

Gifting⎯My, oh my, has this one gotten out of hand over the years. You still have time to contact people and stop the insanity. Here are a few ideas: pick names and set a spending limit, one gift per family, gift to only children under a particular age, request donations be sent to a favorite charity or simply⎯no gifting.

Baking⎯You know this only packs on calories and gives everyone a sugar high, so just cut back.

Decorating⎯Your home does not need to look like a magazine spread. It takes an entire design staff to fill those pages.

Parties⎯You do not need to attend everything you are invited to.

Basically, focus on what is really important to you and your loved ones and forget the rest. It is just not worth it to you, or anyone coming in contact with you, to do otherwise! Treat the holidays as a state of mind that may need an attitude adjustment. Your loved ones may not understand the new changes, but in the end⎯they will come around, and just possibly embrace them. Don’t focus on the traditions of the past if they are the ones driving you crazy. There are no laws stating traditions must remain the same. Set yourself free and before you know it you will have created new traditions.

As you go through your holiday to-do list this year, make notes on what you might want to change next year. Every year you can work just a little harder at making changes and doing less until you have turned your holiday negativity into holiday magic⎯something you look forward to. The important thing here is to just BE and let the joy of the season set you a new path. It is up to YOU to shake things up a bit.

Feel free to share your ideas by selecting the comments box. In case you are not familiar with commenting on this blog, I receive all comments for review prior to posting. If you want to just comment to me, ask me not to share and it won’t be posted. So, let’s get the party started and help my friend Anita shake things up a bit with an attitude adjustment. How have you simplified your holidays or what do you most like to do? I am going to list a few more ideas to contemplate:

• Pick one thing you would really love to do and put your heart into it.
• When you have finished deleting items on your to-do list, think about adding something you’ve always wanted to do but have never had the time.
• Leave town and the holidays behind.
• You could always celebrate the holidays when the weather and traffic are better. How about Christmas in July?

© Copyright Michelle Clark 2010
Special thanks to Ben McLeod for the broken ornaments picture