Be Kind

“Ben’s Bells teaches individuals and communities about the positive impacts of intentional kindness and inspires people to practice kindness as a way of life.”

Ben’s Bells Project

I love things that surprise me, delight me, fill me with joy, and make me smile. Whenever I see a Be Kind mural, such as the one above, it makes me smile. It reminds me we could all use a little more kindness these days. Such a simple thing, be kind, but for some reason it seems to be so difficult to understand these days.

After seeing several murals around Arizona, I Googled Be Kind murals to see if I could find out about them. What started in a backyard art studio after the loss of the founder’s son, Ben, started a powerful ripple effect. Ben's Bells is now a growing non-profit organization and are currently celebrating their 20th year. I’d like to invite you to check them out and donate or purchase their hand made bells, stickers, coins, etc. to support this project and spread the love at www.bensbells.org. You may also find out how you can sponsor a mural and create a kindness ripple effect in your community, school, church, or an organization you know of.

Being kind is being considerate, helpful, thoughtful, compassionate, sympathetic, friendly, pleasant, nice ... you get the idea. And I know we could all use a lot more of what kindness can do. Join me and spread the love of being kind.

Take care,

Michelle

Be Kind photo courtesy of Ben's Bells Project

Inviting Silence

When I embarked on meditating about 18 years ago, I began to invite silence into my life. Ever since those remarkable building blocks of meditation, I’ve continued building silence into each day. I always used to have music playing in my car, home, yard, in my ear while doing other things, and even in my office at work. I was using music to drown out anything and everything around me to create a sense of quiet and peace. While there’s nothing wrong with listening to music, I do feel not inviting silence into any space of my life is not a good thing. I may not hear life whisper to me. I may not hear what the universe is telling me.  

Like many of you, my mind and my body tend to work overtime. It is something I am aware of and consciously work at when I begin to drift in that direction. Although, the more space I make for silence, the more silence I keep building into my life. Now days you won’t find me constantly listening to music. By inviting silence, I have found solitude. In that solitude I am aware, I am present, I am centered, I am focused, I am calm, I am moved, and I am strengthened. I have a deeper sense of my needs. I feel more aligned with who I am and the universe at hand.

I believe we are all craving solitude, but we don’t really know what it is or what solitude can do for us. Invite silence into your life today. Hear for the first time what it is you need and find the solitude you didn’t know you are craving.

Take care,

Michelle

Photo © Jenn Miranda | Dreamstime.com

Shining the Light on Mindfulness

The more you change how you see things, the more the things you see change.

Wayne Dyer

During our year of mindfulness, we have taken on many new ideas to expand our mindfulness thinking. This year's posts show the connectedness of mindfulness to many things in our lives. As you move through your mindfulness journey you will find it all connects.

When I began digging deeper into mindfulness and focused on awareness, I found I became quieter and listened more intently. While I was listening to my thoughts, words, and coming to understand my actions in a different way, I noticed that I began observing and listening more intently to others as well. While I considered myself a good listener, this type of mindfulness focused listening was nothing short of enlightening.

I began observing those around me on a whole different level. It helped me see them in a different light. I knew when these observations began it wasn’t my place to criticize. I understood it was my place to allow acceptance without judgement. I began to learn not only about others, but about myself.

Take your calm, quiet awareness and observe. Listen to the world around you without judgement, and you will begin to shine the light on a deeper way of living in mindfulness. It’s time to take the next step on your mindfulness journey. Prepare to be enlightened.

Take care, 

Michelle

If you are having trouble with focusing, make sure you continue with your daily breathing practice. Breathing practice is key to opening doors to mindfulness. It will help still your mind so that you can properly observe and move through the doors as they open. This allows mindfulness to unfold for you. I’ve mentioned that we will begin to step into the realm of meditation. You will need your breathing practice to fully find your space in meditation.

Photo © Cerrophotography | Dreamstime.com

Self Care

Living your life in a mindful manner is taking care of YOU! And that’s what self-care is all about. If we are trying to take care of everything and everyone else, there’s usually nothing left at the end of the day for our self. And, quite frankly, this is a recipe for disaster in terms of emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual health.

We cannot be for others if we are not be-ing for our self.

Over this past year we’ve spent months on breathing and focus exercises, considered our five senses, immersed our senses in nature, created space, and asked why, why, and why again all for the benefit of bringing mindfulness or true awareness into our lives. Every exercise we have done this year is self-care. If that’s surprising to you then you need to begin to see the self-care picture beyond diet and exercise - with a little quiet time worked in, because it is so much more. Perhaps it would help you to consider self-care as enhanced well-being and bring mindfulness to more things in your life: as you eat, drive to work, grocery shop, meet with a friend, stand in line at the grocery store, brush your teeth, and on and on...

We just need to keep the momentum going and continue our mindful ways. This is not just a one-shot deal, it’s a present moment awareness mindset, a full-on lifestyle choice. It reminds me of the value I have in my emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual health. My overall intention in my life is to be the best I can be. Focusing on a more mindful lifestyle guides me to achieving my best life.

And guess what? It’s never too late to start, re-start, or kick-start your intention to be mindful. If you haven’t been faithfully following along, just go back to the start of the posts for the year and begin again. See, that’s the thing about the choice of being mindful, it’s okay to begin again.

Take care,

Michelle

What’s next for our year of mindfulness? We’ll be building on our breathing and venture into meditation. Sounds like fun to me!

Photo © Airdone | Dreamstime.com

Creating Mindfulness Space

I’ve written about creating space many times over the years. As we explore mindfulness this year, it begs to be mentioned again. Why, you ask? Ah, nice to know you are asking why. It’s because mindfulness happens when there’s a space for it.

Basically, our brains are on overdrive - think of it as non-stop madness. So, it’s up to us to find mindfulness through observation/awareness/acceptance and create it for ourselves. It is in this created space that gaps open and allow a place for our minds to rest. You may have taken notice of this gap space during some of the breathing exercises this year. And I’m sure you’ve also noted I’ve talked about that’s when the magic happens - well, that magic happens for each of us in clever and mysterious ways. It’s that sense of voice in our heads guiding us to safety, it’s when answers to questions asked float through, it’s where one can find a sense of peace, quiet, and enlightenment. With practice, gaps open more often and allow you to be in this space for longer periods of time. Think of this phenomenon like this - you, the center of peace amidst turbulent times. I understand this space and you can too. Here’s a few simple ways of thinking and being to get the ball rolling on creating mindfulness space:

• I recently asked you to consider why you like and dislike something. The example was an outfit you see someone else wearing. Now we’re going to get more personal. Let’s look through your closet. Why do you like some clothes and not others? Then why do you have so many clothes in your closet you don’t like or wear anymore? I know, that’s a loaded question! Trust me on this, it’s simple sounding ways of living that will turn the tide for you on mindfulness. Less is more, less is more - your new mantra perhaps? If it helps, decide you are going to do this clothing exercise every few months. So, mark it on the calendar until you feel you have become one with your closet!!! Pull out a few items, try them on, load the ones you are getting rid of in your car then picture yourself feeling happy after you have donated these items to someone who could really use what you no longer wear. Spread the love and create space at the same time! With every attempt at cleansing your closet, you will feel lighter and on your way to making better decisions all the way around.
• It’s difficult to find space in your mind when you are surrounded by chaos. Take your less is more mantra to your home, office, vehicle one drawer, one room, one area at a time and get rid of the clutter. Don’t fill every space with furniture or every wall with something hanging on it. Allow places in your home for your mind to rest. When you have created space, feel the space when you open the organized drawer or your eye catches a cleared place, and feel good about the direction you are moving. There you go. Mindfulness begets good feelings. Magic!

Continue with earlier exercises from this year - breathing, touching base with your senses, asking why; and now, allow space, space, and more space to fill your life. These mindfulness exercises will come together at one time or another. And don’t be surprised if you find your own exercises for creating mindfulness. Pardon me as I mention this once again - that’s when the magic happens. Stop the madness and be the center of peace amidst turbulent times.

Take care,

Michelle

 

Photo © Melinda Nagy | Dreamstime.com

Thinking About What You Are Thinking

Mindfulness is thinking about what you are thinking!

As children we are naturally open to asking questions. But somewhere along the way we got sidetracked and stopped asking. With this exercise, let’s release that inner child and explore questions.

Consider your thoughts, your feelings, and ultimately your actions (behavior) by paying more attention and begin asking questions. A simple way to bring this to mind is anytime you have the thought, I like, or I don’t like, go beyond the thought or feeling and ask yourself WHY? Then keep asking why until you run out of answers. The more you do this, the more you will learn about yourself. This mindfulness practice will guide you to making better decisions. Trust me on this - this is huge!!!

Here are some examples to get the ball rolling and your mind used to the practice of asking questions:

• You see an outfit on someone you think looks really great. WHY do you think so? Is it the fit, color, fabric, or maybe the person looks really happy or confident? On the flip side of it – you see an outfit on someone and you notice it doesn’t look good at all. WHY? When you do this enough you not only end up with answers that help you make better decisions when you are buying your own clothes, you find yourself asking questions in all sorts of situations.
• You are thinking the sunset is beautiful. WHY do you think so? Remember our last two exercises when we focused on our five senses? Let’s put them into action. What do you see? What do you hear? Is there a scent you notice? Are you eating or drinking something that invokes a lovely flavor while you focus on the sunset? How do you feel? Do you feel happy or calm? If it’s a good feeling, perhaps you should be watching more sunsets. Being mindful will bring you more than just happy or calm. It will bring you understanding and a deeper peace.
• You just yelled at your child. WHY, and WHY, and WHY? But ultimately, was it about the child, or about you? Maybe you’re the one who needs the time out! Aha! See how this thinking about what you are thinking works?

I learned to do this exercise many years ago while taking design classes. It helped me see things in a new light. It’s fun and can be a very interesting and revealing. It’s an observational exercise that I continue to do as I explore my thoughts, feelings, and actions at any given time. With this exercise I have learned why I think, feel, and do. I have learned more about me by asking myself WHY. And I found that the why’s were just the beginning of the questions I asked myself.

Allow yourself to be open to the changes that are ahead. Changes? You can’t help but change when the answers reveal patterns and pieces you didn’t even know about. When you ask yourself enough questions you begin to put the puzzle of your life together through mindfulness thinking.

Take care,

Michelle

Photo © Sumanaree Ratana-u-bol | Dreamstime.com

Breathing in Nature

A walk in nature walks the soul back home.
Mary Davis

For the past few weeks, we’ve been exploring our five senses to better understand what we see, hear, smell, taste and feel. We checked with ourselves throughout the day and gave thought to these amazing senses in order to expand our mindfulness awareness. Now, let’s take it outside and breathe-in nature the Japanese practice of shinrin-yoku (forest bathing - taking in the forest). This is not just a walk in the woods. It’s an immersion of each of our senses - a communion with the natural environment.

Don’t worry if you don’t have an actual forest to walk around in. The idea here is surrounding yourself with the natural environment. I have found the more I am engaged in any form of Mother Nature’s loveliness, the more peace filled I become. Let’s begin...

• Find your walking rhythm in an outside space of your choosing.
• Take a few slow and deep breaths to begin, and let go of everything going on in your head.
• Walk, pause and breathe. Ask yourself what you see. Continue to walk, pause, breathe and see for a bit before moving to another sense.
• I like to close my eyes when I pause to take in the sounds, smells, flavors and feelings. Each time I repeat my concentration of one sense, I notice a bit more than I did moments ago.
• After walking and infusing your senses, you may want to find a place to sit and linger. Immerse yourself by breathing deeper into the natural setting.

The more you bring awareness to your senses, you become more in tune with your surroundings. When you have experienced this space, you can recall it anytime by focusing on what your senses remember.

It’s the end of spring, and summer is just around the corner. Find more time and calm space for yourself outdoors to simply be in nature by breathing-in nature. Continue with this practice as often as possible. It will create a space of calm and wonder, and open a space for your mind to rest.

Take care,

Michelle

Photo © Nenitorx | Dreamstime.com

Mindfulness Senses Spot Check

In January we began the year with the intention of being mindful for the year ahead. Since then, we have explored the practice of breathing fully into ourselves with focused breathing exercises. During the last few months, we’ve brought conscious thought to what we were feeling and opening the doors to awareness. We concentrated on our body as we paused and created a moment of space in the gap between the ebb and flow of our breath. We’ve focused on our heartbeat and learned to push our breathing deeper and slower. Since successful breathing practice opens the door to meaningful mindfulness experiences, we are now ready to explore more fully the practice of mindfulness.

• Take a few slow and deep breaths to begin and let go of everything going on in your head to be in and of this moment. After months of breathing practice, your mind and body know this as calm space.
• Now do a 5 senses spot check. What do I see? What do I smell? What do I taste? What do I hear? What do I feel? There's no need to dwell on each answer. 
• To begin with, you may want to set up reminders to do this exercise a few times throughout the day. Consider it a quick check-in with yours truly. It does not need to take very much time unless you choose to linger in this space. 

When was the last time you thought about your senses? Just like breathing practice, the more you bring awareness to your senses, the more finely tuned they will be. The more overall awareness you can bring to the moment, the better you will be at understanding yourself.

Take care,

Michelle

While we explore mindfulness, continue with your morning and evening breathing practice. For me, it’s a commitment I make to myself in conjunction with meditation. While I’ve shared some of my favorite breathing exercises this year with you, there are so many more to play with should you want to investigate further. Personally, I like to keep it simple. I am more apt to do whatever it is I should be doing by keeping that in mind. Happy breathing!

Mindful photo courtesy of dee and tulah monstah

Breathing Practice 5 Double Exhale

Breathing is automatic; an involuntary process that just happens. But breath is life. So what happens when we actually give this amazing process attention? That’s when the magic happens!

I hope you have enjoyed the last month trying out heart focus breathing and going back over the previous breathing practice posts. I understand many of you have had difficulty with breathing exercises in the past. In my instruction, I’ve purposely slowed down the steps by creating building blocks from post to post. I believe this is a much better way to explore not only breathing practice but mindfulness as well as meditation. You’re probably thinking that it’s about time I get back to mindfulness since it is our focus for the year. But guess what? Breathing practice opens the door to a more meaningful mindfulness experience and it also makes it easier for those who would like to explore meditation. Without a doubt, breathing practice is when the magic happens!

So, without further ado, let’s get back to breathing. As with heart focus, this is another of my favorite breathing techniques and is the first one I connected with many years ago. For those in the know, it is a variation of what is known as 2-1 breathing. It’s my go-to calming method for instant clarity and relaxation. And I often use it to fall asleep when my mind decides to do otherwise. It is also an excellent exercise to increase lung function because we are pushing the limits of our normal shallow breathing.

• Sit or lie down and relax in your favorite place. If you are sitting, rest your hands in your lap or lightly on your knees. If you are lying down, rest your hands on your stomach. Relax your jaw and allow soft eyes.
• Inhale slowly through your nose and notice the coolness. Then exhale through your nose and notice the warmth. This technique informs your mind that you are tuning into awareness.  Do this three times then begin exhaling through your mouth.
• With each breath slow the inhale and the exhale down a bit until you reach a comfortable rhythm (lesson 1). Let your cares and thoughts float away by coming back home to your breath and how it feels to breathe.
• When you are ready add deeper breaths slowly. Be aware of how you feel as your deeper breaths relax your lungs (lesson 2).
• On your next inhalation, mentally count slowly to 4 or more until you are unable to inhale, pause your breath for a 4 count (lesson 3), then very slowly release and fully exhale pushing out every-last-breath as you continue to count to 8 or more. Then repeat. Your goal here is to be able to double the count on your exhale. I like to push this by one count on each breath until I achieve my maximum (think 8 inhale, 16 exhale).
• You will find this to be a much deeper method of breathing. Once you reach a comfortable rhythm, you may listen for your heartbeat (lesson 4) whenever you pause. As you play with this exercise, try counting further on the inhale, then try holding your breath for a few extra counts or skip holding it altogether and go right into exhaling. This is your time so make this exercise your own. Reminder - if you are not breathing slow and deep enough you may find yourself lightheaded.
• Enjoy this exercise for 15 minutes or longer each morning, throughout your day as often as you would like, and before you drift off to sleep.

When you are finished, sit for a few minutes bringing your breath back to your natural rhythm. Don’t forget to whisper to yourself thank you - insert your name. And go ahead and give yourself a big hug while you’re at it!

Looking for instant calming in any stress filled situation? Double exhaling is the key. In just three breaths you will find a space that will bring clarity to the moment. Why three? You will notice it will take you three breaths to open your lungs fully allowing more oxygen to flow in which acts like a secret superpower. You’ll notice the more you bring this exercise to a particular moment, you will naturally find yourself doing it without considering it. Magic! Superhero pose anyone?

Stay safe and take care,

Michelle

Photo 168068696 © David Burke | Dreamstime.com

Breathing Practice 3 Pause

"It’s not so much knowing when to speak, but when to pause."

Jack Benny

We’ll continue to build our breathing practice this week by hitting the pause button. There are times in our lives when we wish we had a pause button. Now, we will create one in this simple breathing exercise. By controlling breathing with a pause, we are creating a gap. In this gap we are creating space. We suspend the breath and are in control of one thing - this space, this moment.

• Sit or lie down in your favorite quiet place with your hands in your lap or on your stomach. If you've been lying down, you may want to try sitting and vice versa. Relax your jaw and allow soft eyes.
• Now simply begin to breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth. With each breath slow the inhale and the exhale down until you reach a comfortable rhythm. Remember this is your time so allow your mind to relax. Let your cares and thoughts float away by coming back home to your breath and how it feels to breathe.
• Begin welcoming deeper breaths slowly. Be aware of how you feel as your deeper breaths relax and expand your lungs.
• After your next inhalation, hit pause and suspend breathing for 4 seconds before slowly exhaling. Experiment with hitting pause after you exhale. If this is going well, try hitting pause after the inhalation and exhalation. Become aware of which breathing pattern you are most comfortable as you bring conscious thought to your breath patterns.
• Continue the rest of the exercise with the most comfortable pause pattern. There should be no gasping for air as each inhalation-pause-exhalation-pause flows into the next. If you are not breathing slow and deep enough (a common occurrence for all us shallow breathers) you may find yourself lightheaded, so breathe s-l-o-w-l-y. This is not a race!
• Do this exercise for 15 minutes or longer each morning, throughout your day as often as you would like, and as you drift off to sleep. Adding more time will help achieve a successful breathing pattern over time.

When you are finished, whisper to yourself thank you - insert your name. We can go for days never hearing a thank you or even our name. Simple positive affirmations help acknowledge what it is we’re doing and go a long way in achieving the cornerstones of self-care. These breathing exercises hit pause and give you this moment which is a gift to you from you.

Again, let this be easy. Concentrate on your body and the ebb and flow of your precious breath as it moves in, pauses, moves out, pauses, and creates space. Consider each pause as you would a gap between thoughts. With each breath allow peace and mindfulness to flow.

Next time we’ll continue to build our awareness with each loving breath we take.

Stay safe, take care,

Michelle

Pause button courtesy of Holly Ireland

Breathing Practice 2 Awareness

"Breathe in deeply to bring your mind home to your body."

Thich Nhat Hanh

Last week we began our year of mindfulness with a simple breathing lesson to get used to considering our breath. This week we’ll take it a bit further.

• As with Breathing Practice 1, find a comfortable space to sit or lie down. This time make sure it’s a quiet space. In the morning I prefer a bright room, and at night I prefer a dimmer setting or even a dark room. It’s up to you. This is your time.
• If you are sitting, rest your hands on your lap, or on your stomach if you are lying down.
• Again, tuck your chin slightly, relax your jaw, and allow your eyelids to lightly close (soft eyes).
• Breathe, and welcome the natural flow of your breath allowing your mind to relax. If a thought flows by, allow it to do just that, flow by and come back to your breath.
• This week we will add conscience thought. Begin to welcome deeper breaths slowly. Then concentrate on breathing and what it feels like as it moves in and out. Feel the sensation of breathing. Is it warm or cold? If cold, notice if and when it warms. Is it a calm breeze or a wild storm? If a wild storm, notice if and when it calms. Is it loose or tight? If tight, notice if and when it loosens up. Also, how do you feel when breathing deeper? With this exercise you are shifting attention to your body and becoming more aware. Through awareness we change.
• Do this exercise for 10 minutes or longer each morning, throughout your day as often as you would like, and as you drift off to sleep.

Again, let this be easy. Concentrate on your body and the ebb and flow of your precious breath. This is the beginning of awareness. This is the door that opens mindfulness. Welcome home!

Next time we’ll take awareness a step further.

Stay safe. Take care,

Michelle

Welcome? photo courtesy of Jimmy_Joe

Finding Mindfulness in 2021

It was good, it was bad, it was ugly, and now it’s over. While January may not feel any different from December, a new year gives rise to the possibilities of the year ahead. Like so many of you, I’ve felt the pull of the ups and downs of this last year more than any other time in my life on global, national, and personal fronts, but I am driven by the vision of a better life for all of us as we move forward in 2021.

Since 2005 I've selected a personal intention word/theme each year. 2020s word was possibilities. I began each day with the intention to see the possibilities in the day ahead. It was an interesting word for me considering what possibilities I had contemplated at the beginning of the year and all the turmoil that erupted just a few months later. But it served me well and was a positive force as I considered the possibilities day after day. Some days it held me up, other days it pulled me forward, but possibilities always guided me to a better place. I know that possibilities will continue to be a part of me, as all my other word themes over the years have been. So, with gratitude I now let possibilities make way for my new word - mindful. Just what is mindful or mindfulness, let’s just say it’s a way of being present in thought and action. It’s awareness on steroids!

Last year I had a number of people ask me how to be mindful. That’s not an easy answer. Being mindful becomes a way of thinking, a way of being, and it continually evolves and takes shape. It comes, it goes, and I know I am a better person if I continue to bring awareness to it.

In the coming weeks I will begin shedding light on mindfulness. We’ll wake up our brains, give them focus, bring them peace, and who knows where that will lead us all. While 2020 won’t be a year easily forgotten, we can now move on with gratitude and hope into a mindful 2021.

Stay safe, be well,

Michelle

Mind full v. mindful graphic courtesy of Heidi Forbes Öste

Keeping It Simple

I am a detailed oriented person. But when too much information is being thrown my way, I have a tendency to back off and shut out or shut down. It’s a form of self-preservation to remove myself from whatever it is and allow my mind to consider, sort out, and take action - or not. I find that information overload clouds my mind, and quite frankly, can set up unwanted frustration.

*Definition of consider: think about, contemplate, give thought to, reflect on, examine, appraise, review; study, mull over, ponder, deliberate over, cogitate about, chew over, meditate on/over, ruminate over, turn over in one's mind; assess, evaluate, compare.

I have utilized every one of those defining words in trying to make one decision. It’s madness, and most of the time does not help me whatsoever. I have used a keep it simple philosophy for many things, but it’s particularly helpful with decision making - even when making big life decisions. It’s easy to overthink things, but it’s refreshing to just simply STOP and keep it simple.

Keeping it simple is a choice I make. It helps me maintain balance in my life, triggers more awareness and thus guides me in making more mindful decisions. That’s it! Keeping it simple leads to mindful decision making. It’s as simple as that.

Stay safe and take care,

Michelle

Simple photo courtesy of Charlie Wales

*Oxford American Writer’s Thesaurus

One Hellish Bitch of a Stinker

We’re well into January and it’s about time I get back to writing my posts with more regularity. In my last post I mentioned our move from the Pacific Northwest to Arizona, and now I can honestly say we’re feeling more at home in the last two months. While the building craziness has settled down for us, there continues to be a bit of chaos as we approach the end of a backyard project – from sand to hardscape. Some days have been a bit trying through the whole move and build process, but I have glimpses of a more settled existence. I had to laugh when I checked the word trying in the Apple computer thesaurus...

Trying: stressful, difficult, taxing, demanding, tough, hard, heavy; pressured, testing, frustrating, fraught traumatic, arduous, grueling; tiring, fatiguing, exhausting, wearing; informal hellish, a bitch of a, a stinker.

All of the thesaurus words describe what I felt at one time or another over the last 7 months, but I particularly like the informal - hellish bitch of a stinker. I removed the commas and that about summoned up the entire experience.

As for me, I’m always glad to put a wrap on one year and begin a new year. I love the feeling of closure even if I’ve had an amazing year, and an amazing mixed bag of a year it was. I experienced the northern lights in a bucket list worthy way on the water along the coast of Norway. I took on a move of 1,500 miles to a completely different state and climate. With the build of a house I made more decisions than a person should have to make in a short period of time. I met new people, rekindled old relationships, made new friends, and lost my mother along with a few other people who had touched my life at one time or another. And you know what? I’m still here focusing on what's positive because with all the ups and downs this was a huge growth year for me.

And now, a new year is guiding me to the possibilities, prospects, and opportunities ahead. These positive words are speaking to me these days and I feel I now have space in my life to welcome them rather than setting them aside for another time. The time is now. Welcome to my year of new possibilities. What will they be? What will your possibilities, prospects, and opportunities be? Don’t set them aside for another time! Join me as we begin a new decade and leave the hellish bitch of a stinker behind!

Be well, Michelle

Possibilities photo courtesy of Damian Godal

Touching Spring

I’m delighting in everything spring as my husband and I put a wrap on six weeks of travel in Scandinavia. While we arrived in Oslo, Norway during one of the last snows of winter, we departed Copenhagen, Denmark warmed by the sun-filled days of spring. As I admired the flowering bulbs blooming in Copenhagen, I felt a smile creep up on my face and happiness fill me with unexpected joy. I found I wanted to reach out and touch a petal just to feel the incredible energy of the emergence of spring.

Follow me into more spring days ahead as we move into the month of May. Leave the dark, cold days of winter behind and embrace a brighter, warmer spring. Enjoy whatever this season holds whether it's different activities, food, clothing, décor, or moments in nature. You might find that you have a fresh approach to everything if you stop to see what’s changing around you, listen to the birds singing their songs, taste the wonderful berries, veggies, and fresh fruit of early sun-filled days, smell the sweetness in the air, and touch the energy of these warmer days.

Welcome the infinite possibilities of spring!

 Michelle

Spring Colorful Clipart courtesy of PublicDomainePictures

Moving Beyond the Pain

Pain happens. And when it does, pain is real. It’s a fact none of us care to dwell on even though we all deal with its many forms at one time or another. In recent months, a number of people I know have had to deal with pain from accidents, health issues, family issues, and loss of loved ones. My thoughts on this subject, while personal, stem from the deep feelings I have on this very subject, and since I’m not there with you to talk about it, here’s what I’ve got to say...

There are many words to describe pain, but it boils down to two characteristics – physical and psychological. How each of us deals with it is truly a personal thing, but in the end, there is a reason why it’s there, so we must learn from it, and move through it. Reasons – well, there could be a number of reasons why the pain is there, but that would be a different post, so I’ll leave reasons for you to figure out. Learning from pain may not be something you’ve heard before. If you haven’t, perhaps that’s why you are still dealing with it in the same old way. Pain is not a friend to anyone, and I’m sure most people would not consciously choose it as a friend; but yet, I know many people who give up on it and just live with it – and that, right there, is a choice.

I would have to ask myself why, why, why is it there? I’ve done this many times and the more I ask, the more I try crafting my question in a different way – it may take time, but the answers do come. The secret is to figure out how best to craft that question. Believe me, you are not a wimp, and I know you can do this. The sooner you do it – the better for you! Although, I should point out here that sometimes you may just be afraid of what answers do come when you start asking the questions? If that’s the case, you better get on it soon and just deal with it! This is not woo-woo stuff. If you think this is a bunch of mumbo-jumbo, then how’s what you’ve been doing working for you so far?

Talking to your pain can be as real as the pain you feel. What have you got to lose? Here’s what I do – I fully bring my attention to the pain, noticing not only where it is located, but how it moves, and how it makes me feel. I try to picture it, talk to it and craft my questions accordingly. You may find that asking the more difficult questions is a journey on its own!

I don’t accept – this is my lot in life, or that it will always be this way – always and life are a long miserable time if you carry the burden of pain with you. So, don’t accept the status quo. If I can do this, so can you, and it doesn’t matter if the pain you feel is old or new. Fight the pain, be it physical or psychological, do battle, go to war and say yes to getting your life back. I realize you may not like hearing this, but it is as simple as bringing awareness to the pain, asking the questions, and letting it go.

Right now, this moment, accept what is, release the pain, and be better than you were a moment ago. Resistance to acceptance is a form of negativity and there are no possibilities in negativity - ever. Accept, and release the pain - open yourself to a new beginning. Allow the possibilities of the moment to flow into your life. There is another side to it, like a light at the end of a tunnel, but it's up to you to illuminate the way.

Bring attention to it - and let it go!

PS - don't bother asking me if this was written for you - if you think it was, then it was, like all my other posts...

Love, Michelle

Light at the end of the tunnel photo courtesy of Dawn Huczek

Finding Space

On a recent crowded hike at Zion National Park, I felt pushed as people were constantly coming up from behind and we were constantly moving over. Then when we would want to stop and refresh ourselves with water, the slower folks would pass us and then we would again have to pass them. After a while it reminded me of the children’s game of leap-frog which, quite frankly, I never cared for. I was about ready to turn around and head back down to the car - even though I knew we were not far from our intended destination of Upper Emerald Pool. I sent my husband, Dennis, ahead as well as numerous groups, and finally there was a huge gap. I enjoyed my little space of quiet. Seems most people these days jabber constantly while hiking rather than listening to the surrounding natural environment, but I digress. Up ahead I saw a large squirrel enjoying what looked like a dust bath. I didn’t make a sound or move because I wanted the squirrel to finish what it was doing. It rather looked as if it were swimming in the dusty trail. Then a group walked towards the squirrel, I pointed to the squirrel and they stomped by nodding and smiling my way as the squirrel scampered away. As I walked to the area where the squirrel had been, I noticed it cleaning itself off not far from the trail. About that time, my peace and quiet ended abruptly as I saw more groups catching up behind me. The first person passing me was a girl who was about ten years old. I pointed to the squirrel and she slowly walked up, saw the squirrel then shrugged her shoulders and screwed up her face. Then the rest of her family passed me by jibber-jabbering along with many other groups. My idea of hiking is to get out into nature and engage my senses while enjoying the diversity of the area I am visiting, but I digress once again. As I continued up the trail, I wondered why some of the people were even on this hike.

When I arrived at Upper Emerald Pool, everyone was around the pool – playing, resting, or having a bite to eat. I had noticed a rainbow shining in the small waterfall spilling into the pool when I was coming down the path, but when I got closer to the pool there was no longer a rainbow. So not wanting to hang with the crowd, I hiked up and out of the way of everyone else and found a continuous rainbow shining over the waterfall. I was the only one above the pool enjoying this lovely rainbow, but soon Dennis joined me, and of course others began migrating our way - time to head back down the even more crowded trail.

On the way down, we passed a young family trying to make their way up the trail. There was a boy of around 5 and his 4-year-old sister. The boy had started to complain about the hike as we were passing them. I stopped and said, “It’s okay, it’s not so bad. And when it seems like it’s too hard, just remember that there is a rainbow at the end of the trail.” The little girl’s eyes got big and the little boy stopped complaining. Their mom told me I knew just what to say. This encounter made me smile and consider my own thoughts about the hike.

Had I turned around and gone back to the car one of the many times I had considered it, I would not have seen the rainbow at the end of the trail. If I’m not enjoying myself, it is up to me to make the choice to either put up with whatever it is and not allow myself to fuss and fume, or to somehow make the necessary changes that might make the difference in my day. I couldn’t change the fact all of humanity seemed to be on the trail that morning, and that they all seem to be so set on the destination they failed to see what was going on around them. Once I figured out that I just needed some space, I found the space and could move forward and enjoy the rainbow at trails end.

Michelle

Finding space photo courtesy of DaMClark's

Let The Wieners Fly

A day in the lives of the DaMClark’s – intrepid travelers! On our first full day in Munich, Germany we decided to try something different and take an audio tour we each downloaded onto our phones. We like to get an idea of what our neighborhood and surroundings areas have to offer and usually take self-guided tours. We recently took an English language guided tour in Regensburg and that went well, so now for an audio tour.

We arrived at Marienplatz just prior to 12:00 p.m. to see the massive glockenspiel (clock that tells a story). It takes about 15-minutes for the chiming of the bells then the old carillons to chime in. Different levels of the clock have characters that spin around and move through telling the spiel. It was a great way to start our Munich stay. We then attached our personal headphones to our cell phones and began our audio tour. To begin with we enjoyed the history of this and that, but we had trouble following the audio walking directions from one site to the next, then I was having a lot of trouble as I hadn’t really considered what I would need to do with the audio, clicking it off and on, and how I dressed that day. It seemed I was always fussing with trying to pause and getting my phone in and out of my pocket. I realized how uncomfortable I was and figured out why it was bothering me so much. You see, normally when we head out for a day we don’t like to fuss a lot with our pockets and backpacks as that is a distraction to us and draws the attention of others who may decide all the distraction would make one of us an easy mark. Rather than ignoring my feelings, I announced we needed to go back home so I could dress more comfortably and use the proper headphones in order to pause without digging out my cell phone.

Forty-five minutes later we were back where we had turned around. Feeling more comfortable now, we walked through the Viktualienmarkt (vitals market), daily farmers market founded in the 1800s, and decided we should sit down and grab a meal prior to continuing with the audio tour. We sat outside in the sun at an outdoor cafe having the local specialty of weißwürst (white veal sausage), pretzel, and beer. When the waitress arrived she set a bowl with a plate-lid down in front of us, but in the process sloshed the hot liquid out of the bowl and onto my pants through the slats of the table. Not wanting to make a fuss I did my best to clean off the wurst of it – sorry about that but I couldn't resist. I lifted the lid on the bowl and there were four plump veal sausages swimming in what was left of the hot water liquid. I grabbed a sausage with a fork and plopped it down on my plate. We were told to slice it lengthwise and scrape the meat out of the casing, dip the meat in sweet hot mustard, and enjoy with the pretzel and beer. I couldn’t quite hold onto the sausage so I decided I would cut it in half before slicing lengthwise. As I did this half of my lovely veal sausage went flying. I ignored it completely as I knew others saw this and were probably thinking - Gut Got im himmel fliegel wursts! (Good God in the sky flying sausages), but I continued with what I was doing as if I planned it that way. The first thought going through my head was, oh well, it looked like more than I could eat anyway, but after my first bite I knew I was going to miss the other half sitting five feet away on the ground. Very seriously Dennis tenderly but gingerly commented that I really wasn’t having a very good day - I agreed wholeheartedly. I could have gotten a bit angry with the whole thing, perhaps out of embarrassment, but I decided it wouldn’t be worth it. I was just having one of those days that happen to me once in awhile, as if I'm off my game, and I knew I needed to pay more attention and just let the wieners fly.

After our meal we started up the audio tour again and saw some interesting places and learned more history. But then it kept guiding us back to big shopping corridors and the very busy Marienplatz. At one point it told us to look down the road to the old gate from when Munich was a walled city. We decided to take a look for ourselves (which was worth the walk and we couldn’t figure out why the audio tour hadn't taken us there) then we walked back up the shopping street. At the other end of the street I realized I had lost one of my gloves! Geesh, what a day. I calmly told D I wanted to retrace our steps and see if we could find it. Sure enough, there was my glove sitting outside a shop where we had stopped to look at a window display. Definitely an off day but I was just happy no dog had peed on the glove!

The audio tour continued to guide us through more shopping districts and when it guided us to a hotel Michael Jackson had stayed at, and note people continue to set up a memorial to him, that was about it for us. Dennis announced we were done with the audio tour. As we walked back home, we decided to end our day on a brighter note. So we stopped at a café near our home where we sat outside with heat lamps overhead, blankets on our laps, and enjoyed an ice cream and espresso for Dennis and a brownie and red wine for me. We watched the sky turn pink as the sun set, and we talked and laughed about our day – flying wieners and all.

I tell this rather detailed story to give you an idea of how we do things. We are trying different ways of traveling and finding what works and what doesn’t. While I was having my own issues with the day, D was patient and understanding. It’s one of those things we do best. When one is off the other works at achieving a better balance for both of us. It’s about acceptance and finding the best within ourselves on any given day. In the end we celebrated our day, and you won’t find us doing an audio tour again unless it's in a museum. We would rather pick up the tourist info maps and plot our own course even if we don’t see everything a tourist should see. Case in point, the following day to this story the DaMClark way will be posted soon at www.damclark.com - see you there.

Michelle

Photo courtesy of DaMClarks family album

Seeing Yourself in a Whole New Light

How you see yourself in your universe affects who you are and how you behave. As the sun, you are at your best. You shine bright and can be your best self. Consider the sunshine of your life as being the positive-filled life you are living. The people and behaviors in your life that help you shine your brightest are the planets orbiting around you. Seeing debris in your planetary system, that’s just the space junk you have gotten rid of, the people and behaviors who dim your shine. Don’t worry, if the junk appears closer than you would like, it will slowly move out of your universe-if you allow it. Oh, and that empty space between the planets is so important. Why, you ask? Because we all could use more space in our lives.

While this may sound silly or woo-woo and could get complicated trying to explain it in more detail, I’m going to skip the complicated part and just say this: I am the sun. I shine bright. At times I can be a planet, but it’s not in my best interest if I require someone to shine the light for me. See, simple, and not so silly or woo-woo.

Michelle

Solar System photo courtesy of Photo Editor

The No-Gift Giving

I recently received a text from my friend Ann. She had been out and about and saw an ornament that reminded her of me. She wanted to buy it but her husband reminded her that I am in the process of getting rid of things. Ann carried it around the store with her for awhile then decided to take a picture of the ornament and send it to me instead of buying it. I told her the photo was perfect. It’s a gift just knowing Ann saw something that reminded her of me, and in that moment wanted to share it with me, but because she cares she didn’t buy it. Thank you Ann! I can keep the picture and know it was something she intended to buy for me, and it won’t take up any space.

I was thinking what a great way to give someone a gift, the no-gift giving when not a gift is a gift. With so many cell phone cameras around these days perhaps we should all get on the no-gift giving band wagon. It would be another way of sharing our love without accumulating stuff.

Ornament photo courtesy of Clark family archives.