Mindset Shift

I’ve been houseless since we sold our home in April of this year. For the first four months my husband, Dennis, and I traveled the Western United States. Now, we are traveling in Europe for approximately three months. While we mostly stay in Airbnb apartments equipped with kitchens and laundry facilities, we do occasionally stay in hotel/motels when we are traveling from place to place. All this traveling makes it difficult to have a routine, and I have always been a routine oriented person. I feel better when I am able to follow a routine, most people do. So how does a routine oriented person adjust to a constant change in routine?

In January I chose the word change as a central theme to remind me that change would be a distinct part of my life in the months, and perhaps years, ahead. This daily reminder inspires me to become more comfortable with change by learning to accept and adapt to whatever change comes my way. I think this reminder even sets up a mindset shift in how I look at and respond to change. Here are a few key points I focus on in an ever-changing environment:

Falling into a regular sleep pattern and getting a good eight hours is important for my overall health. But when my bed location is changing every few days it can be difficult to settle in and get the sleep I need. If I fall behind and am tired, then it's time for a nap, a sleep-in day, or a day at home - wherever home may be.

Exercising is not only good for my body but for my mind - and therefore, once again, my overall health. While I am walking five to 10 miles each day when not traveling from place to place, those traveling days plus the walking are wreaking havoc with my regular exercise routines. At this point I am doing what I can to hold onto my running and yoga when possible. But there again, sometimes it is more important to rest my body as all the walking at times takes its toll. I can feel the heaviness of my muscles and know they need a rest too - even if it means I may not get to my running or yoga.

Eating well and not overindulging in all the wonderful breads and sweet delicacies is important, too. I know it would not be in my best interest for many reasons, so it really doesn’t bother me to pass on them on a regular basis and enjoy them on occasion.

Focused breathing and meditating is something I start my day with and do for short moments throughout the day. I may be mentioning this point last, but it is what is most important as both focused breathing and meditating calm my mind and feed my spirit. I might even say the breathing and meditating prepares me to be more flexible in my mindset and allow for an automatic shift when necessary - as if I am tapping the shift-key on a keyboard.

Right now I feel as though I am in transition with all the changes. And while I am at peace with change, I am still adapting to it. Perhaps my old routines will be in a constant state of flux and I will fall back to them when we are in one place for more than a week at a time. Maybe all this change is transforming my old norm to a new norm. Whatever it may be, knowing a mindset shift is ultimately what will help me deal with ever-present change in my life, I will be able to be my best self in mind, body, and spirit. Isn’t that what helps us all whether traveling or just dealing with the day-to-day routine of normal in our lives? Now, where's that shift key?

It's been nearly two months since I have posted on this blog. I am working on balancing my writing here with my travel blog posting. With this post I am hoping you will be able to hear more from me now that I am finding my way with the travel blog. If you would like to follow my adventures on a more regular basis, please note the sidebar of this blog - you will find the travel blog and my Facebook and Instagram links. I encourage you to sign up so you won't miss a thing. As always, thanks for following It Is What It Is. 

Michelle

Shift key photo courtesy of C Slack

Subtle Magic

For as long as I can remember, I have loved curtains swaying in a breeze. They are mesmerizing, and a meditative experience if you allow them to be. They remind me of a slow breath moving in and out in a graceful dance. In 2014 when my husband, Dennis, and I were in St. Rémy, France touring the Saint Paul Asylum (once occupied by Vincent Van Gogh), Dennis captured the essence of simplicity - sheers swaying in the breeze in an outdoor corridor. Watching the gentle sway was intoxicating, and I must say very calming. While Dennis has taken a lot of amazing photos, this is one of my favorites because it speaks to me. I can feel the air move in and out in what was an extremely relaxing moment in time. It reminds me to slow down and just breathe.

Over the years I can look back and remember curtains swaying in the breeze in my Grandma Mary’s home, in the home we just sold, and in the home we rented in Sedona, AZ. Whenever I see a breeze tickling curtains it causes me to stop and consider peace within myself and gives me a subtle sense of joy, a subtle sense of magic. I’m sure this all has a deeper meaning, but all you need to know is I have decided, in a year of change, that this photo will now be representative of this website as well as my Facebook page. I may not have a home of my own, but I am making my home wherever I am in the world - and if I have swaying curtains, all the better!

While I enjoyed having the dandelion seeds floating in the breeze with endless wishes representing, It Is What It Is, I have grown, and one may say sprouted, in different directions in my life. These swaying curtains in the breeze of St. Rémy represent who I am right now as Dennis and I travel about the globe in a somewhat houseless manner. I hope you enjoy the look of the new and improved It Is What It Is. Let me know what you think. I’d love to hear from you.

Michelle

Curtains in St. Rémy, France courtesy of damclark's family photos

Let. It. Go.

Earlier this month I was entangled in a prescription nightmare. Four prescriptions needed to be renewed or refilled involving my doctor, who had just moved to a new clinic, his MA (medical assistant), a mail order pharmacy, a specialty mail order pharmacy, and my local pharmacy. It sounds complicated, but it shouldn’t have been, except for the fact that mistakes were made by nearly every person involved. What should have been simple became a convoluted mess.

I didn’t realize there were any problems until several days after I had seen my doctor, when he had updated my prescriptions on the computer. Normally, I am a very patient person, but as the days wore on, so did my patience. I pieced together a maze of mistakes and followed up with all parties involved, while slowly untying each thread and following the likelihood of each scenario. If I tried to explain the details to anyone, they couldn’t even follow what happened. Suffice it to say, the frustration was getting to me. Medications were running low and I was going to be heading out of town. Over a two week period, I grew angrier by the day, particularly when the MA wasn’t following up to let me know what she was doing, if anything.

I kept trying to keep my cool, breathe, troubleshoot, breathe some more, and tell myself⎯Let. It. Go. I imagined blowing the anger into a balloon and releasing it. That damn balloon was so heavy with anger; it kept coming back to me. A few more breaths, and many balloons later, I finally heard from the MA. By then, I had already taken care of everything.

Day in and day out, we all face life’s little surprises. Loosing one’s patience and having it push into anger is never a good thing. But I know I need to give myself a break. I am a work in progress. I learn by bringing awareness to my feelings, and as I do, I work through whatever it is I need to work through. I’ll just have to make sure I have plenty of balloons on hand.

Balloon launch photo courtesy of Alison H

Embracing Stress

I am learning to explore stress in my life and attempting to understand how I handle it. I realize it takes constant awareness on my part; otherwise, I may be looking at a crazy-eyed person in the mirror. That is a sure sign I have been off my guard.

Any kind of stress requires our bodies to release bursts of energy hormones. In small doses, stress usually does not wear you down, but over long periods of time, this type of constant push can cause many health complications. These health issues are not good anytime of the year, but can be particularly problematic during the holidays.

We generally know what negative stressors exist in our lives, but good stressors exist too. I think of good stress as what feels positive, but still requires the same burst of energy your negative stressors require. It’s like an energy checking account⎯you cannot keep withdrawing forever. So good stress isn’t necessarily a bad thing⎯unless your energy checking account is depleted⎯then it is just as bad as the negative stressors.

Have you ever thought about actually embracing stress? I am⎯the good, the bad and the ugly kind. It’s all in how I manage it. Stress is a fact of life, and it will creep in when I least expect it. Here are a few things I am considering:

• Attitude⎯I must look calmly at problems. Giving myself the space to figure out each issue gives rise to solutions.
• Balance⎯I know I cannot possibly do everything I want to do and have to do. The answer here is understanding the priorities.
• Limitations⎯I must know my limitations. Understanding what these are will help me use the best of my time and energy, not to mention help me prioritize.
• Breathing⎯I need to take a deep breath more often. Most of us have the tendency to take shallow breaths or hold their breath, so taking a deep breath will not only give me a space to think clearly, it helps me relax.

If you are facing stressful times in the weeks ahead, consider embracing stress⎯the good, the bad and the ugly; it is up to you to know the difference. Deal with those things you MUST and let go of everything else. I’m working on it. How about you?

Oh, and how does one build-up their energy checking account? By doing what you love silly! Here would be a good point to mention what my friend, Vivian, would say:

STRESSED spelled backwards⎯DESSERTS!

Michelle

Photo courtesy of cinnamon_girl

© Copyright 2011 Michelle Clark

The Flash of Anger

I am not an angry person. As a matter of fact, I am probably the exact opposite. I don’t like the way it feels when I become angry or the way it makes me feel when I am around anger in any way, shape or form. Even the most composed person can be pushed to the limits in a flash when anger invades our space. We may even be surprised by the fact it happens so quickly, and we may even feel momentarily out of control. Momentarily or not, this is not a good place to be.

The last few years I have been working on observing my actions and reactions to the everyday ups and downs of my life. This has brought me face to face with anger⎯how I react to it and how I deal with it. My observations helped me realize there are alternate routes to dealing with my feelings. I don’t need to feed the anger but dissect it in a way that helps me determine if my anger is going to be productive. I am learning to just stop, take a moment, and in that moment, LET IT GO! My observations have shown me a few things about anger:

• Anger clouds my thinking⎯I don’t necessarily say what I mean or mean what I say.
• Anger produces caustic emotions⎯These negative feelings build quickly and grow more volatile leading to additional emotional pain and provoke even more anger!
• Anger hurts me and whoever else is in my line of fire⎯It physically invades every cell in my body creating a pain that my body responds to. It unleashes the fight or flight behavior. My muscles tense, my heart starts to pound and the heat begins to flush throughout my body. Have you ever noticed how long it takes to calm yourself down once that starts? Even if you have mentally stopped anger, it continues to course through your body for a time as stress.
• Anger is not productive⎯It complicates things and generally takes me down roads I didn’t even consider taking, and creates quite a mess in the process.
• Anger scares me⎯Who is this person anyway?
• Anger is ugly⎯Have you ever seen your angry self or perhaps the aftermath?
• Anger is not healthy!
• Anger does nothing but motivate me to change my behavior.

Learned habits can trigger an anger response in a flash, but you can do something about it.

• Start paying more attention to what you say, think and feel.
• Take a breath, take a moment but learn to pause before you react.
• In that flash of emotions ask yourself, “Is it worth it?”
• Let it go!

When I let it go, I feel my muscles begin to relax as my heart rate slows and the pulsing heat fades away. My observations have helped me to stop the anger before I feel the physical change, and guide me to walk away from whatever it is I am feeling in that moment, because I know⎯it’s just not worth it. Walking away from anger helps me to be my best self. How about you⎯can you learn to walk away from anger with me? Take a big breath, now doesn’t that feel better?

Photo courtesy of Leland Francisco
© Copyright 2011 Michelle Clark

Why Staring is Underrated

Summer, Lake Chelan, WA

You know that fixed or vacant expression someone gets when they seem to be staring off into space…I did a lot of that very thing recently. We were on vacation, and the thing I was staring at was a lake. We have been going to Lake Chelan for over twenty-five years at various times of the year and we never seem to tire of staring at that darn lake. Before I know it, I have spent thirty minutes or more just staring at water.

My husband, Dennis, and I even discuss the lake gazing and have decided there is something special about this lake. This is where we come to “do nothing” year after year. After a few minutes of lake gazing, my mind is literally blank, void of any thought whatsoever. The other day I spent over an hour just staring. When I finally surfaced, my face broke into a slow smile. “Ah”⎯what a wonderful thing to be able to do.

We were all told when we were young, “It’s not polite to stare!” Frankly, if someone were staring at me it would make me a bit uncomfortable, especially after an hour! When I was in school I remember a teacher saying, “Earth to Michelle, where are you?” Needless to say, I was embarrassed and accused of daydreaming. As an adult, I understand that it may be rude in some circumstances to stare and not a good idea to daydream if you should be paying attention to something else. But perhaps we all could benefit from a bit of “selective” staring.

Our brains, not to mention our senses, work overtime. Let’s all give ’em a break! Here are a few noteworthy considerations to ponder when staring off into space:

• I find my breath slows and becomes very shallow⎯the same feeling I experience when I begin waking from a deep sleep.
• I feel extremely relaxed and peace-filled afterwards.
• I experience newfound energy and clarity.

Huh, all the things I may experience after meditating⎯interesting thought! Staring may just be seriously underrated. I believe “selective” staring is a self-hypnotic state we all could use a bit more of. It would be like taking a free mini-vacation to do nothing. So let yourself be mesmerized, hypnotized or absorbed⎯ whatever you want to call it.  I don’t think it needs to be a special lake or water of any kind. Find what works for you and be aware of the moment. Don’t just shrug it off, but take advantage of the energy and clarity you may gain and relish it for what it is.  Who knows, maybe the next time someone catches you staring off into space they may just say, “Oh, excuse me, I hope I didn't interrupt anything important.”

© Copyright 2011 Michelle Clark
Lake Chelan picture taken at Campbell's Resort

How to BE Alone⎯4 Easy Steps

I often discuss the virtues of being your own best friend, putting your own needs first and making time for yourself. It may be difficult for some people to understand the importance of simply being alone, and many may not even like the idea of being alone. BUT⎯it is okay to be alone. While I value spending time with family and friends and treasure the time I share with my husband, I cherish the time I spend with myself. In my alone time I am learning how to be ME.

When I was growing up, even though I had a brother and sister, not to mention a neighborhood full of other children, I often enjoyed playing by myself. I loved to swing high on our outdoor play set on windy days, lie in the grass on the small hill in the back yard while watching the clouds drift by, “bake” mud cakes decorated with flowers and play with my Barbie dolls for hours. As a matter of fact, I could easily entertain myself⎯I was a happy kid because I knew what made me happy⎯with or without anyone else. As a young adult I learned the value of doing what it was I wanted to do because I could always count on ME to show up. If I had relied on someone else to do something with, I would have missed out on the opportunity to learn to step outside my shy self and JUST DO IT!

Here are four important steps on the road to BE-ing alone:

• Be patient⎯if you are just starting on the road to BE-ing alone it is important to remember. Many of us give all our patience away to others and leave none for ourselves.
• Breathe in the silence⎯practice clearing your mind of all thought. A good way to do that is to hum⎯a little hum here a lot of hum there and you will find it is difficult to “think” at the same time. Before you know it, you will find your monkey-mind melting away to silence. This is when you learn what is really in your head!
• Realize the freedom within the space you create.
• Embrace your aloneness⎯plan things for you to do with YOU! Go for a walk or a long drive, pick up a bite to eat in a sit-down restaurant, go out to a movie...just learn to enjoy your time away from everything else in your life with just YOU!
• Respect the silence and reap the rewards.

I recently saw this video by Tanya Davis and friends and wanted to share it with you. Enjoy!



Over the years I have learned and still am learning about ME. I’ve been there and done that and know it’s okay to dance like no one is watching, go to a movie, sing loudly and strongly and moreover I’ve learned to respect my needs. If you are okay with YOU, happiness and a sense of calm will infuse all the areas of your life. I smile every time I watch this video because I get what Tanya is saying. If you don’t, perhaps you need some serious alone time. How do you carve-out time for YOU?

© Copyright Michelle Clark 2011