The Future of It Is What It Is

The best way to predict your future is to create it.

Abraham Lincoln

My posting to this blog came to a screeching halt in July of last year. That was when my email subscribers no longer received an email announcing a new post. I knew this was coming but failed to determine a path forward. I decided to take time to consider this. And as time has a way from getting away from us, I am with no resolve. So, stepping back from not only posting but writing as well, I have determined the following:

• I miss writing and would like to continue one way or another.
• I miss instant blog publishing and could continue with a different hosting service meeting my needs.
• I would like to compile a book of curated posts from 12 plus years of blogging.
• I would like to compile a book of the travel blog posts from my 4 traveling years living houseless.

Without further ado, I am ending It Is What It Is as it exists now. It’s been a pleasure to share with you my take on life, and I look forward to inspiring you in one form or another in the future. Thank you for following me and sharing your insights as well.

I hope you will continue to learn from the circumstances of your life as I do each day. While no one knows what the future holds, I intend to create the space for mine.

Until next time...

With love,

Michelle

Quote illustration 227881941 © Rashmi Singh | Dreamstime.com

Signed, Sealed, and Delivered

Recently, I’ve had conversations with loved ones about proper living and end of life legal documents. While I outlined these documents in the 2014 post, Get Your House In Order, I will repeat some of the information here with a bit more explanation due to a recent crisis in my family.

In the last few months, I’ve found there are 2 startling facts:

• One being the confusion over what the documents are called. When having conversations with loved ones make sure you are talking about the same documents. As a whole, these documents should not be referred to as the will unless you are only talking about the last will and testament.
• The second thing is that when documents are considered finalized, often the Durable Power of Attorney is not signed and notarized or given to all appropriate parties involved.

Here's the scoop...

Durable Power of Attorney - written authorization for someone to act on your behalf until you die, with regards to personal finances while you are living. I’ll spell this out for you – something can happen to you at any time by accident or sudden illness. Life happens and simply having a document such as this in your file without having it signed in the presence of someone who can officially notarize a document will do you no good. People think it’s there until they need it, then they’ll sign and notarize it. But what if you are unable to sign it because you are incapacitated? This document should be signed and notarized, a copy in your files, and a copy in the files of the designated person who will be your durable. If you have a spouse, one would normally name the spouse and an additional person. If this document is not finalized or has not been given to the designated person, it’s not going to be able to take care of what it was intended to. That could be a real problem for you and anyone else involved.

Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care Decisions - written authorization for someone to act on your behalf, with regards to health care or life-sustaining treatments while you are living and can no longer speak for yourself. Your health care representative should have a copy of this document.

Health Care Directive to Physicians and Family - allows a patient to give instructions about medical treatment; as well as refuse life-sustaining treatment in the event of terminal illness or injury or becoming permanently unconscious. This document helps your health care representative and your doctor insure you wishes are being adhered to. Your health care representative should have a copy of this document.

The above documents are often referred to as your living will because these documents appoint proper representation and guidelines while you are living. After you are deceased is the only time your last will and testament come into the picture.

Last Will and Testament: Written authorization naming someone as personal representative (executor) to manage and distribute your money and property after you are deceased. If you don’t have this, the government will make those decisions for you. I’m guessing many family members would rather not have the information in this document read by anyone before they die - and nobody needs to. A review of documents as I’ve mentioned can be done without reading through the Last Will and Testament.

Community Property Agreement: Allows your spouse to inherit your money and property without having to go through probate. Probate takes time and can be costly.


You can easily find information on the aforementioned documents for the state or country you reside in on the internet or your local library. But a qualified legal advisor can easily walk you through the process. Don’t assume everything has been taken care of. Review your documents and see that all are in order - signed, sealed, and delivered! Don't keep putting it off. Make it a priority now. Hopefully this helps you sidestep any undue family drama. Anytime these documents need to be put into effect, you have enough to deal with. Having been involved in my own family drama regarding this very thing recently, I felt I needed to shout this from the rooftops! So, this is me SHOUTING!

Michelle

Megaphones graphic courtesy of Freepik.com

Silent Observations

Recently, when I traveled back home, there were a number of very personal, very adult type issues to deal with for a number of family members. My elderly parents had been making a series of upsetting decisions about how they were going to manage their ongoing health issues and care in their home. In doing so, they cut themselves off from those who loved them. Their choices led to a series of unfortunate events and finally the death of my stepfather in a serious fall. While the parental drama is still playing out with the future of my mother, I feel the power of It Is What It Is within me and know that whatever happens going forward is about the choices that have been made by others - not something I have any control over.

In a year when my theme word is listen, the more I listen, the quieter I get - but the more I hear and understand, strange thing, eh? Listening to what’s going on around me, what other people are saying, what I’m thinking, and what I’m feeling help me respond in a more centered way - help me to understand the moment. I’m less likely to react because I have this better understanding of the moment - what I need to say, or not say, what I need to do, or not do.

During all of this family drama, what could have been a very stressful time home for me - wasn’t. I became even more quiet in this year of listen, and focused on what it was I needed to do or not do in this scenario. This silent listening of the heart helped me respond in that centered way I spoke of. I was not reactionary - simply responding to what I was hearing, feeling and understanding within - what was appropriate for me in this situation. Strong emotions can get in the way at times like this and the need for control can be strong, but I released that need for control a long time ago. I was able to not get emotionally involved because I was listening, focusing - I did what I needed to do in clarity and have been able to carry on with my life and move forward.

My theme word listen has served me well so far this year and I continue to feel the centered peace it gives me. So, maybe all this listening business is not such a strange thing after all. I’ll leave you with this silent observation - listen and silent have the same letters! Perhaps listening would serve you well, too. Are you listening?

Take care, 

Michelle

Heart shaped cloud photo courtesy of prof.bizzarro

Home Again, Home Again

I recently was back to my old stomping grounds for a few weeks. I mean that quite literally because I went for a run in my old neighborhood. I enjoyed putting my legs through their paces on paths well-travelled over the years, but I wasn’t ready for the remarkable thing that happened while I was running. My mind began wandering back to the time when I first began walking then in 2005 running the hills around my home. My old stomping grounds reminded me just how much I loved running those hills and those trails, but I was also reminded of the many things in my life I had left on the trail, so to speak.

• I recovered from three surgeries eager to find my stride as soon as I could.
• I pushed myself when I was dealing with anemia or other ravages due to Crohn’s disease.
• I bounced-back from cracked ribs after a snowboarder careened into me and sent me skyward.
• I built-up bone strength even with osteoporosis at my side.
• I healed my heart when it was hurting over my husband’s Cancer journey.
• I soothed my soul as I mourned the loss of friends or family.
• I overcame fears I might have had.
• I strengthened my body and strengthened the peace within.
• I rejoiced in the changes of the seasons.
• I discovered and restored my sense of self.
• I evaluated choice, prepared for change, and surrendered control.
• I found the words to write and publish my blog and most recently my book, It Is What It Is.

While I can’t remember how many running shoes I've worn out on those old stomping grounds, I do remember the feelings I have worked through, what I left on the trail, and more importantly what I gained. I always felt as if those roads and trails were mine since I saw them in a more physical and intimate way rain, snow, or shine. They will always be my stomping grounds whether I live there or not, and I'll always feel at one with this area - after all, we have a history! One thing that stuck with me as a few of the neighbors drove by during my recent run was that I tried to wave and smile at everyone no matter how I was feeling - just in case they needed the recognition that they mattered, and in those moments, mattered more than what I was going through.

Michelle

On the trail photo courtesy of DaMClark's

Pressures Rising

QardioArm app start window on my phone, QardioArm in place for pressure reading,

history window on my phone, device ready to travel...

Taking care of myself is a top priority in my life. It helps me be the best I can be in whatever I am doing. While I do a good job of taking care of myself normally, our gypsy lifestyle can make it a bit more challenging. That's where creativity and adaptation help me learn a few new tricks along the way.

Case in point: Prior to being a full-time traveler, I tracked my blood pressure (BP) on a regular basis. Not because I had high blood pressure, but to show my doctor I did not need medication for high blood pressure. You see, I have white coat syndrome (white coat hypertension). In other words, my blood pressure rises as soon as I enter my doctor’s office. 

Last year when I went to Europe for four months, I didn't pack my BP monitor simply because my blood pressure is stable and packing light does not include my bulky BP monitor. I had thought I would occasionally follow up on monitoring somewhere along the way in Europe, but I did't realize it would be difficult finding BP monitoring stations in European pharmacies. When I arrived home, I was due for my annual physical, and once again my BP was sky high and continued to rise throughout the subsequent checking during the appointment. While my doctor didn’t exactly care for the readings, I told him I would be more vigilant in taking my own readings as I had previously been, and we could address the issue on a follow up appointment unless the monitoring showed a significant problem before then.

I did some research and tried a simple lightweight BP wrist monitor. But here’s the thing, the readings were always high. I checked the readings against my bulky reliable monitor and the wrist monitor wasn't correct. After more research I found this can be common with wrist monitors. I returned the wrist style and purchased a wireless QardioArm that works with an app on my iPhone and iPad. I wear it above my elbow on my left arm as I did with my old monitor. The device weighs 10.9 ounces and is 2.7 x 1.5 x 5.5 inches. It is much smaller and weighs half as much as the monitor I had been using. It triple measurement averages and shows heartrate with irregular heartrate detection, which is what I’m used to seeing from my old monitor. It’s easy to set up and use, but moreover validates the readings I had previously recorded on my old bulky reliable.

Consider this scenario: I go to the doctor and have not been monitoring my blood pressure on a regular basis, he sees rather high readings and notes those high readings from previous visits, then proceeds to prescribe medication for a problem I may not have! It’s up to us to be proactive in our health and work with our doctors as a team. Don’t leave your doctor hanging out there with limited information because you don't take the initiative for your own health. In the long run, taking medication you don’t need, or should be taking more of or less of, can lead to catastrophic health issues!

When I see my doctor next time, I’ll be able to show him the QardioArm history on my phone. And even though I'm traveling full time, QardioArm will help me stay on top of my health without adding pressure.

Michelle

QardioArm photo courtesy of DaMClark's

The Art of Adaptation

After four months traveling in Europe, we arrived back in the Pacific Northwest on January 12. We are here to recover from the colds we had recently, take care of a few appointments, enjoy seeing friends and family, and prepare to changeover to spring traveling in the United States desert Southwest. Since we no longer have a house to come back to, normally we would continue to use Airbnb as we do when traveling about, but this time we are staying at a friend’s condo while they are out of town.

Traveling as we do, and not as if we are on vacation, allows us to experience traveling more intimately. We visit communities, not just destinations, and become temporary locals. With all the change, one learns the art of adaptation. Every time we move into a new place it’s not about just seeing the sights and eating good food. We do not consider ourselves on vacation, and must figure out where things are in our neighborhood and in the home(s) we live in. That’s something you probably hadn’t considered, but with each home we encounter different internet connections, beds and pillows, appliances, toilets, showers, light switches, kitchen setups, and more. Sometimes, when we first move in, I find myself simply standing in one spot trying to remember which direction to go for what! But oddly enough, when setting up in our temporary homes, we have fallen into a routine, of sorts. There’s usually a period of adjustment, but it doesn’t take us long to settle in and adapt.

You might be wondering if we miss having a home to come back to? The answer to that would be - absolutely, not! While that may be surprising to you, it’s not to us at all. We were more than ready to downsize stuff and the lives we had established; and quite frankly, it’s a relief to have that behind us. We may not know where our beds are going to be down the road, but that’s okay with us. And you should also know, we get antsy after a time depending where we are and what we are doing. In other words, we’re ready to leave and move on down the road when the time comes.

We’ve been asked if not knowing so many things about our daily lives, and traveling to so many places, is scary in any way? Again, absolutely, not! There's a certain sense of freedom in the lives we are living now, and we wouldn’t put ourselves in harm’s way, but if something happens, then we will deal with it. We travel with a heightened awareness, but not with fear. Fear would not work with this lifestyle. What we are experiencing with all this adapting is unlike most people will ever know. We love getting to know communities and the people, and the sights come as a bonus for us. We are grateful for this new lifestyle and the experiences. We are embracing adaptation and all that it may have to offer.

Michelle

Swiss smile photo courtesy of DaMClarks

Priorities

Our house will be listed for sale within the next week. With so many loose ends to take care of how do we prioritize when the day is full of priorities? How do we determine what is more important to do when everything is?

With our upcoming move to have no home and travel for awhile, we are in the throes of the last efforts to get rid of stuff we no longer need, and we are packing things we are keeping. With each item that leaves it is much easier to decide what goes and what is packed, and with each item that leaves we feel lighter and know we are headed in the right direction. We make almost daily trips to our 10 x 15-foot heated storage unit. Weekly we drop off car loads of stuff to our local charities, and send piles of garbage with our very helpful garbage guy and recycle guy. Our scanner and paper shredder are working overtime. If the weather is good, the priorities are outside in the yard; if it is raining, the priorities are inside. Setting daily priorities is the only way to stay sane and work together.

In the morning we discuss what we would like to accomplish for the day, we handle business matters and squeeze in a workout before we get on with packing, sorting, and hauling. As the day progresses we make adjustments to priorities as necessary. Come evening, we wrap up between 4 and 5 p.m. and before we go to bed we discuss how the next few days may play out. By morning, that can all change. We have fallen into a new daily routine crammed with priorities that would test anyone’s patience and ability to be flexible.

What’s important is knowing we can reprioritize and lay out the next few minutes or the rest of the day as necessary. By adjusting and going with the flow we get an amazing amount of priorities taken care of on any given day. And when all is said and done, we will have a lot less stuff, fewer priorities, and can pack patience and flexibility with us when we head out on the next chapter of our lives.

So how do we determine our priorities when everything is a priority? We talk about it and work as a team. After all, we’re going to be spending a lot of time together in the days ahead and being able to discuss things with patience and flexibility in mind will see us through-and a dash of humor wouldn’t hurt either!

Checklist photo courtesy of e3Learning

Packing Your Patience

In the last few years my husband, Dennis, and I have done quite a bit of traveling. One thing is for certain, not everything goes as planned. While I hope most things will go smoothly, I know there will be times when I must rely on my patience to see me through. And to tell you the truth, it can be easier said than done.

Before I hold-in my feelings and seethe, or explode and lose all sense of, well, sense in the moment, I remind myself to take a big breath followed by another, and another, and as many more breaths as necessary, before I react. There is something quite soothing about oxygen at an unsettling time. It’s interesting to me how inhaling large amounts of oxygen and focusing on my breathing slowly clears my head and brings on a sense of calm. It is within the calmness when I can be of assistance to the moment and be rational. Lately I have added quiet humming to my patience repertoire and it, too, brings on calmness and a sense of peace, although it may unnerve the people around me. Oh well! Better a calm sensible me, I’d say.

Before I head out the door for a trip, I will remind Dennis and myself to pack our patience. It’s a reminder that patience will see us through, and the two of us can figure out whatever comes our way. Bringing attention to the word patience may be a subtle reminder but it gives strength to the word and becomes more available to me when I need it.

Packing my patience for traveling and seeing the positive impact it has made has helped me focus more on patience in my daily life. The more I focus on patience the more it becomes a habit. I find patience with others is easier than patience with myself. But that’s okay; I’m learning more about the positive impact of patience in my life, and know I’m worth being patient for. I pack my patience along with me everyday. When was the last time you considered packing patience into your day? The next time you are sitting in traffic, try focusing on your breathing, or better yet hum a little tune over and over. Here a hum, there a hum, everywhere a hum-hum. Ah, don’t you feel better?

Patiently waiting photo courtesy of Clark family archives

Coma Song

What’s your coma song? If you don’t know what it is, think about what song or type of music makes you move, wiggle a toe, or bob your head. Can’t think of anything? Come on, you know what I’m talking about, when you can’t seem to sit still whenever the song is playing. Perhaps you are ashamed to admit marching bands hit your groove thing. It’s okay. Whatever it is that makes you twitch, it has coma song written all over it, so to speak.

So now that you have a coma song, what should you do with it? You want to make sure your family and friends know what your coma song is in the event you should ever end up in a coma. I have even included instructions for my coma song in my Health Care Directives. Yes, in those documents you can make sure particular music, even marching, is played should you ever be in a coma.

For example: I can’t sit still when Billy Idol songs are playing, and it's not like I even had any of his albums; but nevertheless, that is the music I want playing should I ever be in a coma no matter how old I am! If there is any possibility that I can journey back from the depths of a coma, Billy will make it happen. So, once again, what’s your coma song?

Tuileries, Paris photo courtesy of Clark family archives

Cotton Head

It began in my forties. Now, where did I put...?

After nearly obsessing, okay obsessing, about the item, I usually find what I am looking for – eventually. Then, there are the times I head upstairs for a particular reason, and only upon coming back downstairs find I had gotten side-tracked and done something else, or three something else’s instead. Oh, and I mustn’t forget, pun intended, about the times I go barreling out to the garage while making a meal, where I store canned goods and have an overflow refrigerator, only to stop dead in my tracks and can’t think of what I was going to get. Even after a detailed racking of my brain about exactly what I was doing, picturing what I was doing, and looking through the cupboards, many times I can’t remember what it was I wanted until I get back into the kitchen. And, I am not alone in this!

If you are unaware of the term cotton head, it refers to fuzzy thinking or short-term memory loss associated with women as they approach menopause, and can carry on through menopause. It’s thought to be related to estrogen levels, or lack thereof. It is considered temporary. Ha! I know a number of women who are post-menopausal (50’s-80’s) and it is a regular topic of conversation for everyone. And no, it’s not like it’s a new topic every time someone brings it up. We aren’t that far gone.

I was a little more than annoyed by all of this in the beginning, then realized I had better success remembering when I didn’t obsess about it. I remember, yes, it does happen from time to time, thinking of it in a funny way when the memory lapses first occurred. I would smile and think to myself, oh well, it will come to me at some point. I did this for some time with no improvement. I thought perhaps I was letting my brain get lazy, so I tried memory games, and the like. These seemed to help speed the process along, and I would remember what it was I had forgotten seemingly faster. What I most often do now is force myself right there and then to remember. No obsessing and going on about it. I just simply relax and focus. I swear I can even hear my brain snap to attention. It’s been affective but is not foolproof.

Is all this cotton head, loss of control business something to worry about? I am sure there are those who feel like they are losing their minds and worry about Alzheimer’s. But what I understand is this: If you misplace your keys, let’s say three times a day or more - no worries! Seriously, no worries! If you don’t know what the keys are for – that, my friend, is different.

So cotton heads of the world – don't worry about it. You’ll think of it – eventually. Just smile and know you are not alone standing in the garage wondering what the heck you are doing there. If it helps, picture all sorts of people standing right there with you having a great, big laugh.

Cotton candy head courtesy of Thomas Galvez

Bucky Beaver

Through adversity, we can become our best selves.

When I was in elementary school, one of my teachers would roll in a TV on an elevated cart once a week so we could watch the Bucky Beaver show. I don’t remember much about the show except that it was in black and white, Bucky was a puppet, and we were learning about Lewis and Clark. But Bucky and I have some serious history. You see, about that time, my adult teeth were growing at a much faster, larger rate than the rest of my face. I also had an overbite, otherwise known as bucked-teeth. So, once Bucky showed up in our classroom, I was given the lovely nickname Bucky Beaver. 

While there were a lot of hurtful childhood nicknames that would be thrown my way from time to time, Bucky Beaver really hurt. I was already self-conscious of my teeth, and this nickname made them feel much larger than they actually were. I was a rather shy child, and I did not care for this kind of attention at all. When provoked, I learned it was in my best interest to not react, so as not to lend more fuel to the proverbial fire. My parents told me things like, kids will be kids, and they are just jealous, but that doesn’t really make you feel any better when taunted by, Bucky Beaver, Bucky Beaver!

As I observed the various nicknames and taunting going on in this social stew of elementary school, I made it a point to not include myself in this type of hurtful behavior. We all knew who the bullies were, and I could see they were the one’s with the problem. They were just deflecting their own insecurities. I wouldn’t have been able to put it in those words back then, but I began to see what was actually going on. While they were deflecting, I was doing my best to ignore them, something else my parents suggested. By choosing to ignore, I became the one in control of the situation.

Bucky helped me realize I was better than the sum of the words directed my way. He helped me move beyond the taunting and show those bullies just how great I could be. I excelled in my studies, playground activities, sports, and whatever else I put my mind to. Bucky Beaver, Bucky Beaver, fell to the wayside, as I was no longer someone fun to intimidate.

I may not be a kid now, but I can still see who the bullies are. Young or old, they are out there deflecting their insecurities. The only thing the rest of us can do is to be better than they are. I didn’t know at the time, but good old Bucky Beaver started me off on a course of life lessons learned. Thanks Bucky!

Smiley photo courtesy of Clark family archives

It’s a Process

Lately, my thoughts and actions seem to be moving me in new directions. I’ve had a lot on my mind, and I am trying to work through the feelings and emotions that go along with this process. From the time we are born, life becomes a series of changes and new directions. All these changes become the process of our lives. When the process is altered, we can be thrown into chaos, and it can be followed by an enormous amount of confusion. This is normal, but we must move on.

Perceiving my life as a process helps me approach change as a series of small steps, or choices. These small steps help me set the pace of the process at hand. Thus, I feel some semblance of control. Our best bet is to make the series of changes necessary that become the new process of our lives. It is said that life is a journey; but I say, the journey is an ever-changing process.

Turtle Face photo courtesy of Alex Masters

Excess Baggage

I met with my surgeon the end of August, prior to a European vacation I had planned for September. I knew I was headed for surgery, but when the surgeon actually discussed it with me, and I had a date set in October, it became reality. From that moment, and over the next week or so, I was on an emotional roller coaster. I was snappy, cried at times, and even looked pissed off. This was not me at all. I tried to go with the flow and observe these emotions so I might understand them better, but I seemed to be getting angrier about the whole thing.

When I finally realized how angry I was, I wondered if I was actually dealing with some sort of grief stage. About this same time, I shared my feelings with my dear friend Lisa. She mentioned I might still have some issues surfacing from the difficult surgery twenty years ago. That was it! It was one of those why didn’t I think of that moments. I was so stuck in the emotion that I hadn’t quite worked it out yet. I was close with the grieving thing, but Lisa certainly made it clear to me.

"I get it and I feel it. I think your emotions are going to feel tender for a while AND there may be a tendency for some anger to pop up in weird places. This whole process is demanding that you actively "process" all the emotional patterns that are and were caught up with the past surgery, all that led to it and all that's followed. It's SO much!!! You've got this though."

Lisa McDavid

Twenty years ago I had been ill for months. So the whole period prior to that surgery, the surgery itself, the hospital stay, and the recovery was a nightmare of sorts. Even though I knew my overall health was better this time around, and all the stuff you tell yourself, I didn’t realize I had excess baggage surfacing. I knew I needed to take control of what I was feeling and process this as soon as possible. I normally travel light, as in one bag, and didn’t want this excess baggage following me to Europe.

Now, all I needed to do was to get in touch with my younger self of 20 years ago, let her unload and make sure she knows everything will be okay. This was so incredibly simple. Again, why didn’t I think of that? I decided to meditate on the subject and have a conversation with myself. I allowed me of 20 years ago to unleash emotions, cry, and be angry. Ah, that’s where the anger was coming from! I then told her how this was not the same thing as last time because I am in better health physically and mentally, I am knowledgeable about Crohn’s disease, I understand fully what is going on and what I need to do, but most importantly that I’ve got this. While I had been telling myself this all along, my younger self obviously wasn’t listening because she hadn’t had time enough to grieve and unload her feelings years ago. She clearly wanted her say!

Getting on the other side of my emotions was the best thing I could do for me. The heavy veil of anger slowly passed as I continued to process the issues. I then gave my younger self a big hug as the anger melted away and we were once again in sync. I was finally unstuck and it took me less than an hour. Halleluiah! Now I could fully enjoy my travels to Europe without the unwanted baggage, and approach my surgical date with a full sense of strength and peace.

If a holistic and integrative approach to your sense of well-being sounds helpful to you, contact Lisa McDavid, CCHT at the hyperlink noted.

Blue Suitcase photo courtesy of Drew Coffman

Dancing to Happy

For the past year, the speed of my life has jumped a bit faster than I normally strive for. I wouldn’t call it overdrive, but I have ventured into that lane from time to time. I have wondered if this is the universe testing me. If so, how am I doing? Let’s just say, I’m getting used to the pace. Some things are in my control, some things are not, some things are fun, and some things definitely are not. It's a choice. Rather than fight it, I am learning to go with the flow, as if I am in slow motion when everything else is zipping by me. I’ve found this visualization does wonders for me personally. It actually reminds me that I have control over how I look at things. It reminds me to slow down, to take time-out for myself, to find the fun in whatever I’m doing, fun or not! When I’m in slow-mo, I find a sense of happy. 

Summer finds us outside with many activities to add to our usual year-round gotta-dos. As I look at those not so fun activities, I am striving to not let them take me down this summer. For example, the other day I spent six hours on yard projects. These were some of the not so fun activities I was talking about. I decided I needed more inspiration than listening to the lovely chatter of birds; I needed a lift in my day. On go my ear buds and I plugged into music with a beat. Tunes that made we want to dance and sing my way around the yard, which I did.

While the neighbors may have wondered what the heck I was doing, they may have actually thought, “Gee, Michelle looks like she is having a blast!” Six hours later, I dislodged the music from my head with a smile on my face. It’s interesting the number of people who have mentioned to me how fast their lives are moving these days, so it’s not just me. Whether it’s some cosmic, universe testing thing or not, we all need to find a way to dance around the yard. Can this really make us happy? It sure could help!

You may have noticed I haven’t posted weekly this month. I usually take summer off from posting, but instead I will just slow the rate of posts a bit.  Going forward into summer you will hear from me from time to time. I’m going to remind you to find your fun, find your slow-mo, dial it down, get out of overdrive, and strive for happy. Don’t let summer take you down. Here’s a little ditty that is bound to make you smile. There you go, I know you can do it. Let Pharrell Williams show you how...

                                                     

Enjoy a happy summer. 

Dancing in the sunset photo courtesy of Giovanni

Seeds of Inspiration

For many of us, gardening can be nothing more than a chore any time of the year. With an over abundance of rain, and ever-increasing days of sunshine and warmth, gardening is a chore to even the most seasoned gardeners. Between rainstorms, I am doing the same things over and over again; and I know the tasks and weeds will outnumber any list of gardening chores I may have.

At this point, I won’t be able to get ahead of the chores, or even try to catch up. Trying to take control over my own ideals can be frustrating, but I have learned to let those ideals go. Gardening has taught me many things, so not even trying to catch up is freeing. The seeds of inspiration I have gained from a lifetime of gardening have carried over into other aspects of my life. Here's a seed for you: there is always going to be one more thing, but you'll get to it eventually, or not. It’s okay!

Inspiration photo courtesy of photosteve101

Reality Bites

"Out of adversity comes opportunity."

Ben Franklin

Obstacles in life seem to pop up when we least expect them. Although, many times we may feel them coming, we just don’t want to admit it. I am learning to push through the obstacles and listen to the voice in my head saying, this too shall pass. It is through adversity when I have become stronger, persevered, and learned to fight back for my own sanity, for my own happiness.

We all learn from observing how we overcome adversity. But we also learn from observing how others deal with the obstacles in their lives. This is how we strengthen our resolve to move forward. We all stumble and fall, but most of us have learned to just get up and plow ahead even if we are just pushing through the hurdle to get to the other side. We have learned we can pick ourselves up, refocus and push through by doing whatever is necessary to put the hurdles behind us.

Yes, reality bites, as they say, but that doesn’t mean we can’t bite back! So, push through, take control, look for the opportunities and learn for your own sanity, for your own happiness.

Carla photo courtesy of Mikey Jones

Potholes

I’ve been doing really well with Crohn’s disease for the past few years. I credit the change to a disease-modifying drug, or biologic, which reduces the signs and symptoms of Crohn's and helps prevent further damage. The idea here is to achieve remission by controlling inflammation, and maintaining it in order to prevent flare-ups. Being in remission has allowed me to eat a more diverse assortment of hard-to-digest foods such as nuts, and various vegetables and fruit. Being a foodie, of sorts, I appreciate this food heaven diversity.

I don’t often talk about Crohn’s. While it is a definite part of my life, it is not my life. Recently, Crohn’s knocked me on my butt once again. Like a pothole in a road, you don’t always see it coming. All you can do is maintain as much control of your vehicle as possible, hope there are not more potholes ahead, and deal with the aftermath. I know this drill all too well.

A flare-up, or episode, is a gut-wrenching experience. Basically, it consists of contractions of my intestine, causing severe cramping which generally lasts about four to six hours. Fortunately for me, I am able to recover from a Crohn’s episode by resting for a day and maintaining vigilance over what I am eating. I get back to my life as soon as I possibly can.

Many things may set off an episode, and like anyone, I dissect the possibilities. But I have learned not to get overly caught up in the whole dissection thing. It is disappointing anytime an episode occurs. This one was particularly discouraging because it had been a few years since I experienced this severity. But, I am not worried or concerned. It’s a pothole. Move on. Chances are, as I cruise down the road in front of me, there will not be another for sometime, or at all.

We all experience various potholes in the road. The secret is to not feel vulnerable or weak. The secret is to pull yourself together, hold on to the steering wheel in front of you, and don’t let go. The secret is to be more powerful than the pothole! In a year focused on balance, I am not allowing this pothole to throw me off my feet.

Potholes photo courtesy of xemmybearx

Bubble of Silence

The first Friday in March, sundown-to-sundown, is the National Day of Unplugging. Experience what a true day of rest can be by turning off your cell phone and all computer devices that  plug you into todays world. I may be going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing Facebook and Twitter will continue without you for one day. Why bother? Creating a bubble of silence is about reconnecting with a less plugged in YOU.

Find the fun: www.nationaldayofunplugging.com

I will unplug and go about my day with the freedom of no distractions. Actually, I do this on occasion anyway. Unplugging reminds me it is okay to take control and tune out from time to time. Join those throughout the world who are unplugging and reconnecting by creating a bubble of silence beginning sundown, March 7.

I Unplug photo courtesy of Alex Pang

Get Your House In Order

Last month my husband and I finally started the process to get our house in order and update our legal documents. While we had last wills, and a community property agreement, we needed living wills; and, come to find out, we didn’t have a durable power of attorney for financial issues in place. Intending to take control of this matter, we met with our lawyer and proceeded to draw up nine documents. Other than the community property agreement, the following documents are for each of us:

• Health Care Directive to Physicians and Family: Allows a patient to give instructions about medical treatment; as well as refuse life-sustaining treatment in the event of terminal illness or injury, or becoming permanently unconscious.
• Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care Decision: Written authorization for someone to act on your behalf, with regards to health care or life-sustaining treatments, while you are living and can no longer speak for yourself.
• Durable Power of Attorney: Written authorization for someone to act on your behalf, with regards to personal finances, while you are living.
• Community Property Agreement: Allows your spouse to inherit your money and property without having to go through probate.
• Last Will and Testament: Written authorization naming someone to manage and distribute your money and property after you are deceased.

These documents not only spell out your wishes, they take the burden of decision making off family members. 

This may be a subject you have delayed action on because you don't want to think about it, or you don't care what happens. Perhaps you don't understand the options or the consequences. No more excuses! It is time to take control! In a year when I am focusing on balance in my life, getting my house in order seems like a good way to start. Taking care of these documents has somehow centered me. Isn’t that what balance is all about? I no longer need to concern myself with getting it done. It’s done. I suggest you get your house in order by talking to a lawyer and/or visiting the following websites:

• Caring Connections: This website is packed full of information on what you need to do, and you can download your state’s advance directives form. These may be filled out and signed without a lawyer.
• Aging with Dignity:  This websites Five Wishes gives you many things to consider and allows you to express how you want to be treated if you become seriously ill and unable to speak. Whether you use their document or include some of the ideas introduced in Five Wishes in your own documentation, this is worthwhile to reflect on. These may be filled out and signed without a lawyer.

Note: If you have these documents in place, or it has been awhile since you looked them over, I would suggest you review what it is you do have in case you are missing something or you need to make changes.

Surprise photo courtesy of Audrey Bordes

Soul Searching Paths

The last six months have been full of events and issues in my life that are somewhat difficult to mentally wrap my brain around. Sometimes life can go along with minor ups and downs, other times it is hard to believe all life can throw at you.

Yesterday, my brother took his life. Mike was a man relentlessly struggling to find his way. Throughout his life, he would pull himself up by the bootstraps, reinvent himself if necessary, and carry on. It was an amazing ability he had. When something this tragic occurs, one can only surmise he felt he had no other choice. It was his way of taking control over something he felt he had no control over. It is difficult to fully understand the depths of his despair. I can only hope his pain and suffering have ceased, and he now finds the peace and happiness he has long searched for.

It is important for us all to find a path leading to peace inside. Whether dealing with unsurmountable problems or trying to understand what has been thrown your way. As we search for answers, we can seek the help and support of others, but we must ultimately look within.

Sending love and light to you dear brother,

Cloud trail photo courtesy of pfly under the Creative Commons License