Monday, January 24, 2011

How to BE Alone⎯4 Easy Steps

I often discuss the virtues of being your own best friend, putting your own needs first and making time for yourself. It may be difficult for some people to understand the importance of simply being alone, and many may not even like the idea of being alone. BUT⎯it is okay to be alone. While I value spending time with family and friends and treasure the time I share with my husband, I cherish the time I spend with myself. In my alone time I am learning how to be ME.

When I was growing up, even though I had a brother and sister, not to mention a neighborhood full of other children, I often enjoyed playing by myself. I loved to swing high on our outdoor play set on windy days, lie in the grass on the small hill in the back yard while watching the clouds drift by, “bake” mud cakes decorated with flowers and play with my Barbie dolls for hours. As a matter of fact, I could easily entertain myself⎯I was a happy kid because I knew what made me happy⎯with or without anyone else. As a young adult I learned the value of doing what it was I wanted to do because I could always count on ME to show up. If I had relied on someone else to do something with, I would have missed out on the opportunity to learn to step outside my shy self and JUST DO IT!

Here are four important steps on the road to BE-ing alone:
  • Be patient⎯if you are just starting on the road to BE-ing alone it is important to remember. Many of us give all our patience away to others and leave none for ourselves.
  • Breathe in the silence⎯practice clearing your mind of all thought. A good way to do that is to hum⎯a little hum here a lot of hum there and you will find it is difficult to “think” at the same time. Before you know it, you will find your monkey-mind melting away to silence. This is when you learn what is really in your head!
  • Realize the freedom within the space you create.
  • Embrace your aloneness⎯plan things for you to do with YOU! Go for a walk or a long drive, pick up a bite to eat in a sit-down restaurant, go out to a movie...just learn to enjoy your time away from everything else in your life with just YOU!
  • Respect the silence and reap the rewards.
I recently saw this video by Tanya Davis and friends and wanted to share it with you. Enjoy!



Over the years I have learned and still am learning about ME. I’ve been there and done that and know it’s okay to dance like no one is watching, go to a movie, sing loudly and strongly and moreover I’ve learned to respect my needs. If you are okay with YOU, happiness and a sense of calm will infuse all the areas of your life. I smile every time I watch this video because I get what Tanya is saying. If you don’t, perhaps you need some serious alone time. How do you carve-out time for YOU?

© Copyright Michelle Clark 2011
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