A father, who recently lost his son, attends a wedding. At the reception, he is seen dancing. His friend told him that he did not expect to see him at the wedding, let alone enjoying himself. The father replies, “I can choose to be sad or move beyond the sadness and get on with my life, and I choose to get on with my life.”After the death of my family members, Lee and Barbara, I could feel the specter of grief begin to take hold and follow me like some looming cold, dark shadow. I knew, from experiencing grief in the past, I could just let it happen. I could allow it to move through me by observing it and trying to understand it. But this takes time and I did not want to experience grief like that again. I’ve never forgotten the story about the father choosing to get on the other side of his grief, choosing to get on with his life. I decided I would not let the cold fingers of grief take hold.
While I felt the weight of deep sorrow and heartache, I hadn't given into many tearful episodes. One morning recently, I resolved to allow myself to fully grieve⎯in order to see if I could not only move through it, but beyond it. I love to listen to meditative chanting music, so I played my favorites by Snatam Kaur and sat in a variation of a lotus pose, cross-legged, on my yoga mat. As I began listening to the relaxing chants, I allowed myself to cry my eyes out, chant, sing and sob. There seemed to be a type of ebb and flow to all this grief, so I just decided to ride it out. When all was said and done, my tears began to dry up, and I felt an amazing sense of peace come over me.
I no longer feel the profound sadness engulfing me. I honored my feelings by bearing witness to my emotions. I can now consider both Lee and Barbara and only feel the love I have for each of them. This leapfrogging of emotions is powerful, inspirational and moves me forward. What do you need to let go of, move through or get on the other side of? Move forward and honor your feelings⎯choose to get on with your life. Leapfrog anyone?
