Breathing Practice 4 Heart Focus

Just you, your breath, and the beat of your heart.

Since the month of February is heart month, it’s the perfect time to add the beat of our hearts to our breathing practice. I think of this technique as heart focus. It’s one of my favorite breathing techniques and I know it will become one of yours. Our heartbeats will take us deeper into our breathing practice, and our minds will become intensely focused on the beat so there’s no room for other thoughts or distractions. Essentially, it’s heartbeat bliss. 

• Sit and relax in your favorite quiet place. Some of you may have been lying down previously, but it’s easier to hear and feel the full effect of your heartbeat while sitting. Rest your hands palm up in your lap or lightly on your knees. Relax your jaw and allow soft eyes.
• Begin to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. With each breath slow the inhale and the exhale down a bit until you reach a comfortable rhythm (lesson 1). This is your time so allow your mind to relax. Let your cares and thoughts float away by coming back home to your breath and how it feels to breathe.
• When you are ready add deeper breaths slowly. Be aware of how you feel as your deeper breaths relax your lungs (lesson 2).
• On your next inhalation, pause (lesson 3) and suspend breathing for 4 seconds before slowly exhaling and pausing for 4 seconds. Allow each breath to flow slowly into the next. Reminder - if you are not breathing slow and deep enough you may find yourself lightheaded.
• Once you reach a comfortable rhythm, listen for your heartbeat whenever you pause. There's no need to over think this, allow your heartbeat to rise above the noise in your head. Please note that hearing and feeling your heartbeat does not necessarily happen right away. It takes practice as with any breathing exercise. But once you become aware of heart focus, it’s always there for you with every beat of your heart.
• Enjoy this exercise for 15 minutes or longer each morning, throughout your day as often as you would like, and before you drift off to sleep. Adding more time will help achieve a successful breathing practice.

When you are finished, sit for a few minutes bringing your breath back to your natural rhythm. Don’t forget to whisper to yourself thank you - insert your name. After all, this time has been your gift to you.

Let heart focus be an easy exercise. As you focus on your breathing and heartbeat you may even feel a slight sway to your upper body. Allow it to move and breath, ebb and flow with every beat. Allow mindfulness to flow in and out, in and out, to the rhythm of each breath, each heartbeat.

Continue with this heart focus exercise and go back and review previous lessons until next time.

Stay safe, be well,

Michelle

Heartbeat graphic courtesy of Aliaina Rakes

Navigating the Current Rollercoaster

With the uncertain times we are living, we’re experiencing extensive lifestyle changes. I’ve found my emotional balance has been more like navigating a roller coaster. Like many of you, my husband and I have been in this somewhat isolated bubble over eight weeks now. For someone who strives to find balance in each day, it’s been best for me to stick to a routine, remind myself that it is my choice to follow or not follow the news, find better ways of doing things I find stressful, focus on whatever it is I am doing, and surprise myself along the way.

Routine
I am at my best following a routine of waking, sleeping, eating, and exercising. And quite frankly, that goes for most people. It keeps me on track and helps me prepare for the ups, downs ahead.

Newsworthy
I’ve been doing my due diligence and checking in with news items once in awhile. This keeps me up on what I need to know. Otherwise, too much information leads to information overload, stress, and feeling as if I had the weight of the entire world on my back while going through a loop-de-loop. I know what’s happening, I’m not ignoring that, but I don’t need to know EVERYTHING!

There’s got to be a better way!
The whole grocery shopping thing has really been an issue for everyone. What’s available, what’s not available, and doing everything we can to not bring home this damn virus. It’s very stressful! A few weeks ago, I found myself saying rather loudly, there’s got to be a better way! So, we are now shopping at our local grocery stores on-line and picking up our order a few days later. This one thing has relieved a whole lot of stress and craziness and keeps me on a straighter track.

Focus, Focus, Focus
Mindfulness with full focus on whatever I am doing keeps me calm and centered and ready for the curves ahead. I’ve tackled spring cleaning and once again embraced feng shui thinking now that I’m no longer traveling full time. Cleaning and organizing creates a welcome sense of calm when mindfulness is considered. These are things I should do at some point anyway, and there’s no time like the present.

Surprise!
Even within a routine oriented world, I change things up regularly. It’s never same old, same old for me. And that’s become very important these last two months because it is a definite bright spot to what could be an endless series of loops. I may run, walk, lift weights, do my yoga/pilates. I may cook up or bake something I haven’t had in years. I may call friends or family instead of emailing or texting just to have that good-old real voice connection. It’s not only a break in my routine, it’s a surprise for them. Here’s the thing, surprise may be planned or spur of the moment, but right now it’s more important than ever to have that bright spot in my day.

And one more thing - a little something I remind myself when I need an extra lift...

During the hard times of my life I have learned more about myself and become stronger.

Stay safe and take care!

Michelle

Rollercoaster photo - no copyright infringement is intended 

New Year⎯New YOU, Here’s How...

The beginning of the year marks a renewal of sorts. Forget the resolutions, I know you’re saying, “What, the year just started!” How many people do you know benefit in the long run from making and following through with a new year resolution? I would venture to guess⎯not very many! Usually resolutions are big life gotta do’s, as in quit smoking, lose weight, start working out, pay off debt and save money, to name just a few. I think of resolutions as those things we know we should or shouldn’t be doing but can’t seem to follow through with. Many people set themselves up for failure by trying to take giant leaps rather than small baby steps. Big life gotta do’s are significant lifestyle changes. For example, it’s not just dropping a few pounds, but keeping it off. It's a matter of changing your thinking, and the follow through is maintaining that thinking. Making resolutions might sound like a good thing to do⎯but if all they do is set you up for failure, what is the point. I know⎯you’ve got to start somewhere…

Baby Step #1: Focus on One Word
Might I make a simple suggestion here⎯instead of a resolution, why not pick a word for the year. This word would really be a sort of theme for the year ahead. Eight years ago, my health began to deteriorate rapidly and was leading me down a dark and narrow path. After two years of being lost, I came up with the idea of selecting a word. This word became my focus for an entire year. The first word I chose was ME!

Baby Step #2: Fine-tune Selfishness
One might think of considering one’s own needs first as being a bit selfish. No matter where you look to define selfish you basically come up with the same negative definition⎯a person who lacks consideration for others. If that is how you want to define it, fine with me. But if I don’t consider ME, who will? If it takes me being selfish to help me be healthy and happy then so be it. I know if I am healthy and happy, I will be a better person for anyone else who comes into my life.

Baby Step #3: Question Yourself
During the year of ME, I began to take care of myself. I would remind myself of this by asking,

“Is this in my best interest?”

If it wasn’t, I didn’t do it; if it was, I did it. Another question that would surface  regularly would be,

“Is this something I really have to do, or want to do?”

By questioning myself, I learned to focus more on me and to take better care of my needs first and foremost. That forced focus brought me the gift of awareness and gratitude which lead to peace of mind and happiness. I learned more about myself that year than I had in nearly a lifetime. As a matter of fact, I continued with this theme the following year⎯I was on a roll and I knew I had more to learn.

Baby Step #4: Simplify the Process
You define yourself in different ways throughout your life, but you can simplify the whole process by learning to tune in to YOU. By considering your needs and whether or not something is or isn’t good for you, YOU can take control of YOUR life. YOU can quit smoking, lose weight, start working out, pay off your debt, save more money or whatever is best for YOU. It may not always be smooth sailing, but your word will serve as your reminder. Selecting your word for the year will help you make baby steps and aid in your follow through, thus helping you maintain whatever changes you are making in your life.

Baby Step #5: Carry the Word Forward
I’ve been selecting a word for my annual theme ever since the two years of ME. I have been amazed at how much the word affects me and carries on into my life even after I have picked a new word the following year. My word for this year is momentum. I want to be the driving force in what goes on in my life. Look out…

Let this year be your new year⎯your new YOU. How are you going to define your year? Will it be in a word? What will your word be for this year? Feel free to comment and share your word. I would love to hear from you!
© Copyright Michelle Clark 2011

Back Off

In the last few months I have been getting ready for a yard sale, and the preparation for this event gained momentum in the last two weeks. Priorities being what they were, I needed to focus on the job at hand - yard sale. Which meant I was not able to do the things I normally do and that included writing. Allowing myself time to write and post on my blog is important to me, and I miss it if I’m not able to. But, in order to simplify and not find myself running hither, thither, and yon, trying to do it all, I focus and back off from everything else - even the things I enjoy. This focus on simplicity and priorities helps me sort out the complicated, helps me get things done, and helps keep my sanity - seems like a win-win situation.

Backing off may sound counterproductive to moving forward, but it’s not really. In the end analysis, backing off guides me to re-evaluate that which I do. It helps me see what I do in perspective. It helps me prioritize what I normally do on a daily basis and appreciate the doing.

The yard sale is behind me and I can focus on getting caught up on the things I backed off of. I know there will be new priorities in my near future, and once again I will need to back off of my normal responsibilities. Until then, I will be glad to resume whatever normal is for me.

Connection photo courtesy of Viewminder

Focus

I am currently working on a number of projects that need to be addressed. My refrigerator freezer is not working, as it gave up the ghost back in September, so now I need to buy a new one. Obviously, I haven’t been in any hurry to tackle appliance shopping. I have a contractor who will start working after the first of the year, so I am involved in picking out toilets, tiles and faucets to update the bathrooms in our house. Yes, I am still moving, but this is what you must do these days so the house will sell in a timely manner. And oh, there’s the holidays, and this and that, and on and on.

I am not Super Woman, although I have been known to try my darndest at times. These days I focus more on the priority at hand⎯instead of getting wrapped up in everything at the same time. I don’t know about you, but I don’t seem to get anywhere when I allow that to happen. By giving full attention to one thing at a time I am able to accomplish whatever needs to be taken care of⎯and not get my tinsel in a tangle this time of the year, or any other time for that matter.

In a month filled with want-to-dos and have-to-dos, I am choosing to focus. Focus gives me the space to do whatever I need to do. It cuts out the nonsensical and allows me to move forward. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll even get around to buying a new refrigerator this month.

Cattail photo courtesy of Rebecca Goodwin - my sister!

In the Zone⎯So What’s All the Hype?

My friend Kay was telling me about the first time she finally understood what being “in the zone” meant. She had purchased a treadmill for home and faithfully climbed on for her workouts. Kay was comfortable enough with her new routine and found she really didn’t need to hold on to the handlebars. This allowed her more freedom to move. On one particular day she climbed on, warmed up and began her routine. She found herself really getting into the motion. As her cares of the day melted away, Kay began to experience a feeling she had never felt before. She became one with her treadmill. In other words, she felt as if she was the treadmill. A euphoric feeling came over her just moments before she flew off the end of her oneness. Fortunately for Kay, she did not suffer any major injuries.

She painted quite a visual image and can’t tell the story without cracking up with laughter. Of course anyone listening would laugh right along with her. I’ve experienced my own “in the zone” moments and could relate with the feeling she spoke of. I find the moment I become aware of the zone, I too am launched back to reality. This has happened many times while snow skiing. I become so entirely focused I feel I am one with my skis. But the moment I break the focus and become aware of “it” I find myself tumbling down the hill instead. I would equate being “in the zone” to a hypnotic state of being. The moment you are aware of this state, you allow intrusive thoughts and therefore lose focus. I’ve worked hard at dismissing the intrusive thoughts when I have been in the zone and not fall quite so often, but usually I am unable to get back into the hypnotic bliss I was experiencing.

Since I am working at paying more attention to whatever I am doing, I am finding I am “in the zone” (in the groove, in the flow…) more often and can extend the zone-filled feeling the more I am “in the zone.” You could say, the more you practice mindful-awareness, the better and easier it gets. The one constant for any “in the zone” moment is single-minded focus⎯I am only thinking about what I am doing then basically letting go of thought.

Even if you were unaware of it at the time, I am sure you have experienced the “zone.” You know how time flies when you are doing what you love and love what you are doing. Here are a few examples of what can give me “in the zone” moments:

• Gardening
• Running
• Skiing
• Writing
• Teaching
• Meditating
• Swimming

On the other hand, I am not in the zone when I am:

• Multitasking
• Talking on the phone
• Watching television
• Surfing the net⎯ that would be called zoning-out and for me that is not “in the zone”

Just what am I learning with all this mindful-awareness:

• Being “in the zone” is a state of consciousness I won’t experience in my daily life unless I have the focus, or awareness in the first place.
• Being “in the zone” is happiness at its best.
• Being “in the zone” is bringing a sense of flow to the rhythm of my day.

Kay and I enjoy sharing the ups and downs of the different paths before us and are both working on bringing more awareness into our lives. Perhaps this post would be a good starting point for you to pay more attention and find your zone. After all, you never know when you might be snapped back to reality with an unplanned flight off the end of your treadmill.

© Copyright 2011 Michelle Clark
Picture by Sasha Wolff

Relief for the Eyes-Wide-Shut-Syndrome!

Just exactly what is the eyes-wide-shut-syndrome? I would describe this as not seeing what is right in front of you. We are all so busy with everything and anything⎯we do not realize we have fallen into this blind pattern of living. We do not take the time to be more aware of what we may be seeing or even feeling. We have forgotten how to bring awareness into our lives.

I define awareness as a state of consciousness. Something many of us seem to have little of these days⎯we do not make space for awareness. I know, who has time to make space, right? But if you are not aware, it is like going through life with your eyes closed⎯thus, eyes-wide-shut-syndrome. Anyone in this condition would be missing a lot and probably making some bad decisions along the way. I am making a point to allow space for awareness in my life and finding it is not all that difficult to do.

In dealing with health issues and life issues over the past few years, I am discovering a sense of peace amidst the storm of everyday living by creating more awareness in my life. The one common element to creating awareness is simply making a point to pay attention to what I am feeling, doing, thinking and saying. This one simple step has changed how I go about living my life. It slows me down and helps me focus. I am finding I can be a better person to others and myself by being more aware. Putting emphasis on paying attention doesn’t cost a thing and takes a split second to do. So now you don’t need to worry about scheduling awareness into your day⎯just do it.

Creating awareness takes practice. It seems the more focus you give it, the easier it gets. Although, when you take away the focus, it is just as easy to slip back to your old eyes-wide-shut ways. And that is going to happen, but you can quickly remedy the blindness you create. Make space⎯create awareness⎯find peace!

Here are three ideas to get you started:

1. If you are trying to do a number of things at the same time⎯stop⎯focus on one thing. You will find you not only get more done, you do a better job!
2. You are sitting in traffic and fuming⎯stop⎯pay attention to what you are feeling and thinking then ask yourself if it’s worth the fuming.
3. You are about to say something you probably shouldn’t even think about saying⎯stop⎯by bringing awareness to what you are about to say, you will find yourself choosing your words a bit more carefully or not saying anything at all.

Feel free to share a few of your own thoughts on this topic…

 Copyright 2010 Michelle Clark
Special thanks to Andrew Bossi for the eyes picture

Holiday Attitude Shake-Up

I am already hearing people bemoan the fact Christmas is upon us. My friend, Anita, said she would just like to fast-forward and get it over with! Sound familiar? I understand those sentiments, but no longer feel so utterly negative about the whole thing. I am now able to focus on the concept of “less is more” and not get caught up in the stress of the season. I have found I am able to enjoy what I do and appreciate those people I spend time with even more so. Over the years, I have shared with others how I approach the holidays, and now I’ll share a few insights and ideas with you.

First ⎯It all boils down to expectations. Who do we have to blame for those outrageous expectations? Could you be thinking of Norman Rockwell’s, Freedom from Want picture (Thanksgiving Dinner), published in the Saturday Evening Post in 1943? Or perhaps you have been looking at all the magazines with the lovely holiday settings. Just stop that right now! If anyone is going to take the blame it should be YOU. You can’t do anything about anyone else’s expectations, but you can about your own.

Second⎯Before you become holi-dazed, sit down and make a list of everything you think you need to do throughout the holiday season by category, then fill in the details under each category. Before you start getting a headache, move on quickly...

Third⎯Cross at least one detail off the list under each category, and yes you can! Heck, go ahead and cross off a whole category if you are feeling really empowered. I know you want to, so I’m going to give you permission to cross off an entire category. There, you have no one to blame but me⎯you’ll thank me for it! Remember, the idea is doing less of everything. Here are a few general thoughts to set you on your way:

Holiday Cards⎯If you are sending cards to everyone you ever knew or had a conversation with, listen up. Try sending cards to only those people you rarely see. If you still want to touch base with others, send an e-card. Or send only e-cards and sometime in the next month or so call those people you rarely see⎯they would love it! Lastly, you are not obligated to send holiday cards just because you receive them!

Gifting⎯My, oh my, has this one gotten out of hand over the years. You still have time to contact people and stop the insanity. Here are a few ideas: pick names and set a spending limit, one gift per family, gift to only children under a particular age, request donations be sent to a favorite charity or simply⎯no gifting.

Baking⎯You know this only packs on calories and gives everyone a sugar high, so just cut back.

Decorating⎯Your home does not need to look like a magazine spread. It takes an entire design staff to fill those pages.

Parties⎯You do not need to attend everything you are invited to.

Basically, focus on what is really important to you and your loved ones and forget the rest. It is just not worth it to you, or anyone coming in contact with you, to do otherwise! Treat the holidays as a state of mind that may need an attitude adjustment. Your loved ones may not understand the new changes, but in the end⎯they will come around, and just possibly embrace them. Don’t focus on the traditions of the past if they are the ones driving you crazy. There are no laws stating traditions must remain the same. Set yourself free and before you know it you will have created new traditions.

As you go through your holiday to-do list this year, make notes on what you might want to change next year. Every year you can work just a little harder at making changes and doing less until you have turned your holiday negativity into holiday magic⎯something you look forward to. The important thing here is to just BE and let the joy of the season set you a new path. It is up to YOU to shake things up a bit.

Feel free to share your ideas by selecting the comments box. In case you are not familiar with commenting on this blog, I receive all comments for review prior to posting. If you want to just comment to me, ask me not to share and it won’t be posted. So, let’s get the party started and help my friend Anita shake things up a bit with an attitude adjustment. How have you simplified your holidays or what do you most like to do? I am going to list a few more ideas to contemplate:

• Pick one thing you would really love to do and put your heart into it.
• When you have finished deleting items on your to-do list, think about adding something you’ve always wanted to do but have never had the time.
• Leave town and the holidays behind.
• You could always celebrate the holidays when the weather and traffic are better. How about Christmas in July?

© Copyright Michelle Clark 2010
Special thanks to Ben McLeod for the broken ornaments picture

Looking Both Ways

A few months ago, a man driving a truck ran into my husband, Dennis, as he walked across a busy intersection. He was in a crosswalk, walking at the appropriate time, when a driver turning left failed to yield the right-of-way. Dennis was hit on the side of his right knee, flew up onto the hood of the truck and slammed his right hand into the hood; the driver of the truck hit the brakes and Dennis slid back off the hood landing on his feet. Other than being a bit shook-up, Dennis was fine. His right hand ached a bit, but there was nothing broken and no bruising. Amazing⎯yes, miracle⎯definitely!

Did Dennis look both ways as he entered the intersection? Did the driver? Life moves at a rapid pace. In a split-second everything can change. We are all so busy all of the time⎯we lose focus and don’t pay attention to the world around us anymore. We get so used to doing whatever it is, we no longer can remember if we even thought of looking both ways. We need to quit paying attention to everything else and focus on what it is we are doing right NOW. A focused life is a much better way to live.

• It puts emphasis on every minute of every day
• It makes whatever you are doing a priority
• It centers you

It really isn’t hard to do, and is somewhat a relief from the rapid pace we get sucked into. When you are centered⎯you feel less rushed. When you feel less rushed⎯you pay more attention. The fact my Dennis was able to walk away from something that could have had dire consequences is nothing less than a miracle. But it reminds me, and should remind everyone, to simply slow down and always look both ways. Pay attention to the world around you. Commit to living a more focused life. Become your best self and focus on NOW. Looking both ways could be your new metaphor to a more centered life. Think on that⎯you may save a life, and who knows, it may just be your own.

Look Both Ways photo courtesy of J. Mazzola

Breathing Practice 5 Double Exhale

Breathing is automatic; an involuntary process that just happens. But breath is life. So what happens when we actually give this amazing process attention? That’s when the magic happens!

I hope you have enjoyed the last month trying out heart focus breathing and going back over the previous breathing practice posts. I understand many of you have had difficulty with breathing exercises in the past. In my instruction, I’ve purposely slowed down the steps by creating building blocks from post to post. I believe this is a much better way to explore not only breathing practice but mindfulness as well as meditation. You’re probably thinking that it’s about time I get back to mindfulness since it is our focus for the year. But guess what? Breathing practice opens the door to a more meaningful mindfulness experience and it also makes it easier for those who would like to explore meditation. Without a doubt, breathing practice is when the magic happens!

So, without further ado, let’s get back to breathing. As with heart focus, this is another of my favorite breathing techniques and is the first one I connected with many years ago. For those in the know, it is a variation of what is known as 2-1 breathing. It’s my go-to calming method for instant clarity and relaxation. And I often use it to fall asleep when my mind decides to do otherwise. It is also an excellent exercise to increase lung function because we are pushing the limits of our normal shallow breathing.

• Sit or lie down and relax in your favorite place. If you are sitting, rest your hands in your lap or lightly on your knees. If you are lying down, rest your hands on your stomach. Relax your jaw and allow soft eyes.
• Inhale slowly through your nose and notice the coolness. Then exhale through your nose and notice the warmth. This technique informs your mind that you are tuning into awareness.  Do this three times then begin exhaling through your mouth.
• With each breath slow the inhale and the exhale down a bit until you reach a comfortable rhythm (lesson 1). Let your cares and thoughts float away by coming back home to your breath and how it feels to breathe.
• When you are ready add deeper breaths slowly. Be aware of how you feel as your deeper breaths relax your lungs (lesson 2).
• On your next inhalation, mentally count slowly to 4 or more until you are unable to inhale, pause your breath for a 4 count (lesson 3), then very slowly release and fully exhale pushing out every-last-breath as you continue to count to 8 or more. Then repeat. Your goal here is to be able to double the count on your exhale. I like to push this by one count on each breath until I achieve my maximum (think 8 inhale, 16 exhale).
• You will find this to be a much deeper method of breathing. Once you reach a comfortable rhythm, you may listen for your heartbeat (lesson 4) whenever you pause. As you play with this exercise, try counting further on the inhale, then try holding your breath for a few extra counts or skip holding it altogether and go right into exhaling. This is your time so make this exercise your own. Reminder - if you are not breathing slow and deep enough you may find yourself lightheaded.
• Enjoy this exercise for 15 minutes or longer each morning, throughout your day as often as you would like, and before you drift off to sleep.

When you are finished, sit for a few minutes bringing your breath back to your natural rhythm. Don’t forget to whisper to yourself thank you - insert your name. And go ahead and give yourself a big hug while you’re at it!

Looking for instant calming in any stress filled situation? Double exhaling is the key. In just three breaths you will find a space that will bring clarity to the moment. Why three? You will notice it will take you three breaths to open your lungs fully allowing more oxygen to flow in which acts like a secret superpower. You’ll notice the more you bring this exercise to a particular moment, you will naturally find yourself doing it without considering it. Magic! Superhero pose anyone?

Stay safe and take care,

Michelle

Photo 168068696 © David Burke | Dreamstime.com

Waiting to Use My Brain

After my snow skiing accident a few weeks ago, it was 20 minutes before the ski patrol had me loaded in a toboggan and on my way. Waiting for anything is the perfect time to recall those poems, prayers, songs or the chronological order of US presidents you have been memorizing during this intentional month of stimulating your brain.

While waiting for whatever it is I am waiting for, I put my brain cells to work by recalling something I have memorized. I find it quite relaxing. It brings a focus and an overall calm to whatever the situation. Sometimes I focus on quieting my brain in a somewhat meditative state. But other times, I find recalling something memorized forces a moment of focus I can’t find while trying to quiet my monkey mind.

Whether you are sitting for hours in the doctors office, or lying sunny-side-up on a ski slope, wait no longer! What a perfect opportunity to use your brain. I find people often comment on my patience. I smile and think…

 5. James Monroe... 

25. William McKinley... 

40. Ronald Reagan…

Photo courtesy of garland cannon

Warrior Pose

I make sure yoga poses are a part of my weekly workout routine. Yoga helps me combine mental and physical expression, as in mind, body and spirit. Breathing deeply, while maintaining form and balance, not only strengthens my body, but stills my mind. In order to hold the poses properly, I must focus; otherwise, I lose balance.

My favorite pose is the Warrior and its variations. When I first tried this, it was difficult to hold the position for very long at all. My whole body seemed to tremble just trying to maintain the form. Now, I feel I am the warrior, and can hold the position for as long as I would like, even with my eyes closed. It has become rather centering and relaxing.

While I change Yoga routines with regularity, I always include my warrior. Anything that helps me become the warrior in my life is an important strengthening piece of my journey, and should be lovingly maintained. On this amazing journey of mine, the warrior in me will introduce more positive guidance to my mental and physical expression. I will continue to bring more centering and relaxing focus to my day.

Warrior II pose courtesy of a4gpa

Occupy Gratitude

The holidays are rapidly approaching. Everywhere we look we see the ads and enticements to buy, buy, buy. I ask, why, why, why? Does anyone really need one more thing? Oh, but it is such a deal⎯really? What’s in your wallet? Not as much as there used to be I would venture to guess.

Instead of the frenzied focus on what I think I should be doing this holiday season. My focus will be intent on occupying a state of gratitude. How will I do this…

• Make it personal⎯no quick thrown out there, “Thank-you.” But an eye locking, smile on my face, “THANK-you.” If that person happens to work in retail and have a name badge on then my thank you will include their name, which I try to do anyway, because it let's people know that I’m not overlooking the fact that I am talking to another person.
• Make it a celebration⎯by celebrating those in my life who help make my life easier. I’ll make sure I do something special for my garbage and recycle guys, my mail carrier and newspaper delivery people⎯oh, and I can’t forget my hair stylist who helps me feel and look my best, and then there’s…
• Make each day a gratitude filled day⎯by letting people know just how grateful I am for what they do, who they are or by the fact they are simply a part of my life.

I intend to inhabit gratitude. How about you⎯will you be able to find space in your wallet to dole out some gratitude? Come along with me and occupy gratitude this holiday season. You will be grateful you did.

Michelle

Photo courtesy of downing.amanda
© Copyright 2010 Michelle Clark

September: Intend to Set Boundaries

With summer winding down this month, I too need to wind down. This time of the year I have a tendency to try and squeeze in too many things with what time there is left. Last month, by creating an island of calm, I may have let a few things slide. Oops and oh well! The best thing for me this month is to remind myself to set boundaries and focus on that which is most important before summer’s end, and I’m not just talking about work-oriented things but the fun stuff too!

In order for me to be at my best, it is best for me to intentionally create my own boundaries. I will do this by consciously choosing what it is I need and want to do. As I go about each day, I will strive to be an active participant in what it is I do. As with all my intentions, it helps to start the day by planting the seed of intention in my brain. Throughout the rest of the day, I am able to feel my best self take-hold each time I consciously choose my intention.

Setting boundaries, limits, restrictions, or whatever you want to call it, helps me focus and gives me permission to make the best choices for me. How about you? Will you give yourself permission to be an active participant in your life?

Girl in Stripes photo courtesy of D. Sharon Pruitt

Summer Camp 1965

In a few weeks, schools will be closing for summer break and many children will be heading off to summer camp. This thought brought back memories of the summer of 1965 - the war in Vietnam worsened while the anti-war movement grew, kids were crazy about skateboards, women’s skirts got shorter while men’s hair grew longer, gasoline per gallon was 0.31, the average income per year was $6,450, Cosmonaut Aleksei Leonov took the first steps into space and I stepped onto a bus with my friend Lynn for my first visit to summer camp.

I had just turned 9 and while I was looking forward to a week at Camp River Ranch, I was also sad because I would miss a family wedding. Lynn and I were shy but were determined to make the best of it as we headed out for our first week away from home. We were assigned to the same canvas tent along with four other girls. On our first visit to the lake we were divided into groups by swimming ability. There were three of us who knew nothing about swimming. Lynn and I fell into that very small group. Instead of receiving lessons or guidance, we were asked to sit on the rocky beach during lessons and during free swim we were allowed to stand up to our knees and splash each other⎯fun times! After “swimming” each day, we would hang our wet swimsuits on the supporting ropes outside the tent to dry. Upon our return, Lynn and I always found our swimsuits in the mud below the ropes. We were continuously teased and tormented by those who thought they were better than anyone else. I became homesick but tried to make the best of it.

At the end of camp, the first thing out of my mouth when seeing my parents’ was, “I want to learn to swim.” I began taking lessons and didn’t stop. Along the way I joined a swim team, became a lifeguard and a water safety instructor⎯all by the time I was 16. Two years after my stay at Camp River Ranch I attended Camp Don Boscoe, which had a complex of outdoor swimming pools. Once again, I was not given swim lessons. This time I could outswim everyone including the instructors, so I helped out around the pool. The fact I could swim did not graduate me to the realm of most popular. It had quite the opposite affect, but I didn’t care.

While I missed being at my uncle and aunt’s wedding, I gained so much more⎯the human experience. I began to learn my own way in this world. I learned what it was like to be an outcast. I learned the meaning of focus and drive and setting goals. Two summers and endless hours in the pool later, I learned what it was like to achieve one's goal, and that it was okay to stand outside the crowd⎯for ME to be ME. It was my first major personal triumph.

I could have just gone on about my shy way in this world and may not have even learned to swim. I might be a very different person today if it wasn’t for the experience I gained in 1965. We may not always know the impact we make on our lives with the choices we make along the way, but one thing I know⎯you will not be happy unless you are BE-ing who you are. Take a look at your life today, are you making the right choices? If not, today can be a new day for you, set your goal, focus and drive even if you are driving outside the crowd. Take the first step⎯you may just make a splash!

Photo courtesy of AlexanderY
© Copyright 2011 Michelle Clark

Packing Your Patience

In the last few years my husband, Dennis, and I have done quite a bit of traveling. One thing is for certain, not everything goes as planned. While I hope most things will go smoothly, I know there will be times when I must rely on my patience to see me through. And to tell you the truth, it can be easier said than done.

Before I hold-in my feelings and seethe, or explode and lose all sense of, well, sense in the moment, I remind myself to take a big breath followed by another, and another, and as many more breaths as necessary, before I react. There is something quite soothing about oxygen at an unsettling time. It’s interesting to me how inhaling large amounts of oxygen and focusing on my breathing slowly clears my head and brings on a sense of calm. It is within the calmness when I can be of assistance to the moment and be rational. Lately I have added quiet humming to my patience repertoire and it, too, brings on calmness and a sense of peace, although it may unnerve the people around me. Oh well! Better a calm sensible me, I’d say.

Before I head out the door for a trip, I will remind Dennis and myself to pack our patience. It’s a reminder that patience will see us through, and the two of us can figure out whatever comes our way. Bringing attention to the word patience may be a subtle reminder but it gives strength to the word and becomes more available to me when I need it.

Packing my patience for traveling and seeing the positive impact it has made has helped me focus more on patience in my daily life. The more I focus on patience the more it becomes a habit. I find patience with others is easier than patience with myself. But that’s okay; I’m learning more about the positive impact of patience in my life, and know I’m worth being patient for. I pack my patience along with me everyday. When was the last time you considered packing patience into your day? The next time you are sitting in traffic, try focusing on your breathing, or better yet hum a little tune over and over. Here a hum, there a hum, everywhere a hum-hum. Ah, don’t you feel better?

Patiently waiting photo courtesy of Clark family archives

Breathing Practice 6 Humming

While we’ve continued with our breathing practice throughout our mindfulness instructions, we’re going to add a different experience to our breathing. This is an easy one as it takes little thought to perform.

Take a deep, slow breath in through your nose. As you exhale, lightly press your lips together and hum as you slowly exhale through your nose. That’s it!

Why humming?

We are not engaging in just another breathing exercise; we are promoting self-care therapy. Humming creates a different focus and is a way to self-soothe, and quiet the mind and body.

Is there a particular humming method to use?

I mentioned the above example to introduce a new breathing experience into your daily practice. You may want to experiment with humming a different musical note until you find one that fits the mood of the moment, but other than that let’s keep it simple.

Personally, I love humming and use it beyond my breathing practice. I hum to calm my breathing pattern, heart rate, thoughts, and emotions. And sometimes I find myself humming while doing other things. When this happens, I know I’m bringing a sense of peace to the moment whatever it is.

Here are some examples of how I tap into humming:

• Instead of driving like a maniac to an appointment when I’m running late for one reason or another, I hum and calm myself the entire drive. It guides me to back off the accelerator and accept what is.
• I hum when driving in traffic or bad weather as it relaxes me and again helps me accept what is.
• I tune into peaceful humming to self soothe if I find myself anxious, tense, upset, angry, frightened...
• I hum a tune here and there and sometimes hum no tune at all just non-sensical sounds that seem to delight me.
• And I find myself humming without realizing I’m doing it when I’m focused on something I enjoy like cooking or gardening, and even while doing things I don’t particularly care to do like house cleaning.
• Humming has helped me focus during devastating times of my life.
• A hum here and a hum there has guided me to understanding my feelings and helped me find answers in the space between the notes.

What I’ve come to understand about humming is that it is a powerful tool in my mindfulness practice. You should know that you don’t have to be able to carry a tune to experience the wonders of humming. And you can hum in your head anytime and anyplace without making a sound. Just begin with your daily breathing practice and before you know it, you’ll find a hum here and a hum there when you least expect it. Shall we give it a go?  Hummmmmmmm

Take care,

Michelle

Photo © Pop Nukoonrat | Dreamstime.com

The Ultimate Gift ⎯ Is YOU!

Instead of presents this holiday season, let your focus be on your presence. I have found giving time to someone or a group of someone’s to be the best gift of all. It’s not merely the fact you are in attendance, but participating in what is going on around you. Before you get together with anyone⎯listen up…

3 simple tips to getting the most out of giving time to others:

If you are usually just taking up space⎯start listening!

Okay, so you showed up for whatever you are attending. Instead of just sitting over in the corner counting the minutes until you leave, start listening to what people are saying⎯ whether you are interested or not. While attending functions where I knew very few people, I found if I listened to what was being said I would relax more and found an easy path into conversation. Listening is an art and takes time to learn to do it properly. So start by simply following the conversation and listening with an open mind and open heart. You just may learn something about the person you are listening to; moreover, you just may learn something about yourself.

If you are usually the talker⎯start listening!
Many people have a tendency to say too much. If you are getting together with others, make it a point to say less and listen more. People have the tendency to give more information than needed. This causes many to lose interest in what is being said. Be more concise and to the point⎯you may find folks more interested in what you have to say. If your gums aren’t flapping so much, you will have more time to listen to the conversation. And remember, not all silence needs to be filled with conversation⎯just simply listen to the silence between the words. It can really be quite calming depending on who you are with. Before my Dad died, we talked a lot; but moreover, I learned silence and the peace created between two people in that silence is a precious gift. Anyone you can sit and just be with without saying anything is someone you have a great comfort in.

If you are usually the listener ⎯ good for you, but start talking!
The next time you around other people, share in the conversation by making a comment once in awhile. When friends or family pick themselves up off the floor from shock, you may find you actually enjoy sharing in the conversation. Talk to someone you wouldn’t normally say anything to or share something about yourself with someone you know. You may find you have more in common with others than you thought. I have actually been quite surprised to learn more about the people in my life by sharing a part of me.

3 things listening is teaching me about myself and others:

Tolerance gives me an open-minded perspective and acceptance of others.

Patience fills me with a sense of serenity and calm, which carries into all aspects of my life.

Focus provides the space to make better decisions.

Don’t just pass time with people you are around, give time⎯not just this holiday season, but carry the giving into the next year. If you are unable to see someone you haven’t talked to in awhile⎯pick up the phone! Mark your calendar and once a month call someone you haven’t talked to. It will open the door and allow you to reconnect. And never forget⎯the ultimate gift any time of the year is YOU⎯just bring your presence!

My wish for you this holiday season:

Light – vision to see what is best for you

Tranquility – stillness to recognize what is in your best interest

Peace of Mind – in the face of discord or distress

Be Well!

© Copyright Michelle Clark 2010

Go For A Walk

How easy is this? Go for a walk! Really! It does wonders for clearing your monkey mind, dropping a few pounds, unplugging from the chaos, plugging into the great outdoors, bringing focus to what matters, and balancing your thoughts; not to mention, putting a smile on your face. Walking inspires me and it will inspire you. Going for a walk could just be the best thing you can do for you, and it doesn’t have to cost more than a good pair of shoes, or maybe not even that.

On a recent personal journey of Deepak Chopra's, he shares this inspirational thought: After spending time bathing in a stream, begging for their food, shaving their heads and walking barefoot...

Deepak Chopra to Thai monk, “It hurts without shoes.”

Thai monk to Deepak Chopra, “It hurts on the foot
 that’s down, but the one up feels really good so focus on that one.”

Go for a walk! It’s easy, really! Follow me. When you head out that door, you never know where you may end up. Wherever it is, I guarantee it will be a better place than you started from.

• On the Rocks photo courtesy of Marcus Winter

Have a Mindful Holiday

My gift to you this year has been to focus fully on mindfulness. I hope you have found some sense of peace and that it has opened the door for you to fully embrace mindfulness and explore on your own as you’ve only just begun to scratch the surface. 

Just because it’s the end of year holiday season doesn’t mean you need to allow the holidays to take over. Don’t forget about what it is you have learned to this point. Here’s a few mindful tips if it all gets to be too much thinking and doing...

• Breathe, then breathe again
• Ground yourself in your senses
• Find peace in nature
• Fill yourself with patience as it is a foundation of mindfulness
• Consider your thoughts, feelings, and actions by asking yourself why and learning something along the way
• Find the gaps and create more space
• Less is more so keep it simple
• Self-care first, and then be and do for others with more energy
• Hum your way through the days ahead
• Focus fully on whatever you are doing
• Observe and listen to others through your new lens of mindfulness
• Do everything with love and gratitude and it will come back to you in strange and mysterious ways

Cheers to a year of mindfulness! I am so proud of you!!!

Stay safe and be well,

Michelle

Update: So far posts continue to be sent your way via email. Although, my hosting service notes this will not continue. If I decide to take time off from posting or end this blog, I will let you know in a post. If you haven’t heard from me lately, you can always check http://www.mmclark.com

Photo  © Christa Eder | Dreamstime.com